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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

do you mind if your dh goes to the pub after work without telling you?

32 replies

oranges · 01/12/2006 22:54

cos I do.

OP posts:
merrylissiemas · 01/12/2006 22:55

yes, isn't it odd how their lives barely change, yet ours are barely recognisable

WonderCod · 01/12/2006 22:56

saddo
no i dont

do you ecxpect to tell him?

brimfull · 01/12/2006 22:56

dh wouldn't do it,but I would be pee'd if he rolled in really late without warning me .

WonderCod · 01/12/2006 22:56

id have rung mine anyway

LadyOfThePoinsettias · 01/12/2006 22:57

i wouldnt like it, but he wouldnt do it! lol

christmas2NDTIMEmistletoeandwi · 01/12/2006 22:58

I mind, but he does it anyway. 8 years later, I've learned to bite my lip and accept that after working 6 days a week (sometimes 7) he deserves a treat!

HuwEdwards · 01/12/2006 22:58

My DP would never do this without telling me and vice versa....surely just a thoughtful gesture..?

brimfull · 01/12/2006 22:58

If I was expecting him home then I would expect a call if his plans change.

kama · 01/12/2006 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ItsTheThoughtThatCounts · 01/12/2006 23:00

DH wouldn't go without telling me - not because he needs permission, but because it's polite to mention to the person you're married to that you'll be late home, surely?! I wouldn't not tell him either.

WigWamBam · 01/12/2006 23:00

I don't mind him going - I do mind if he doesn't bother to let me know.

Original poster
oranges · 01/12/2006 23:01

I dont mind him going, but would like a text telling me. I'd do the same. Otherwise, like tonight, I'm sitting, making guests wait for dinner, wondering where he is. Isn't it courtesy to tell someone if you are going to be later than expected? Why does that make me a saddo?

OP posts:
WonderCod · 01/12/2006 23:01

you haev pepoel there?
omg no

Original poster
oranges · 01/12/2006 23:02

but would it be okay if people were not there? Just me and ds?

OP posts:
WonderCod · 01/12/2006 23:03

oh yes
hed be in bed and you are an adult hwo is capable of entertaining herself

Original poster
oranges · 01/12/2006 23:03

dinner was just pizza with close friends (of mine, not his), but still...

OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 01/12/2006 23:03

oh that makes it much worse...I take it he knew there were guests...?

WonderCod · 01/12/2006 23:03

no wonder he went out
arf

GiraffeGotTheLastRoomInTheInn · 01/12/2006 23:04

i would expect to be told, especially if he arrives home at the same time most nights.

Even a text message would do.

Did he know you were expecting people?

Original poster
oranges · 01/12/2006 23:04

yes I'm capable of entertaining myself, but if I'm expecting him home, isn't it right to expect a message saying he'll be late? Genuine question.

OP posts:
choosyfloosy · 01/12/2006 23:04

i totally agree oranges but...

why are you on the computer if people are there?

sorry

agree it's incredibly bad manners, and manners matter a lot in marriage IMO

twelvedaysofchristmas · 01/12/2006 23:04

I don't mind him going. I do expect a call. It's polite.

Original poster
oranges · 01/12/2006 23:04

guests have gone home now, dh here but I'm sulking on mn.

OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 01/12/2006 23:04

ok, well if your friends, slightly different, but I would always expect to know if he intended to be later than planned, and he would expect (and get) the same from me. Just courtesy.

WonderCod · 01/12/2006 23:05

i reckon he htought " ah she ahs her mate around ill go otu"
but yes he shoudl have rung by now

has he a lady freind?