I am very very low today. I have suffered so much loss in my life I don't know how I cope & keep going. Today I am having very dark thoughts, the sort of thoughts you're not supposed to have. That's why I came on here, to vent bit & hopefully lessen the pain. Am I ever going to be settled & happy? I have now lost my sole surviving family member, that's it now, I have no-one in the world apart from my dcs. I've been through profound major surgery, one of my dcs is only just through a two year life-threatening illness. I had a severely abusive childhood followed by a severely abusive marriage. I have more huge obstacles in front of me. I doubt that I have it in me to cope any more. The love has gone from my life, what's the point?