Is it wrong to want some romance??

[thepartycontinues]

Having been through a difficult separation from my husband of 20+ .years (documented on here) I had hoped my new partner would be different.
Well, he is...
I have kindness now where there was none, but what I don't have is the romance or passion. Sometimes I feel he may as well be my brother rather than a lover.
I do all the running in the bedroom,. He has quite a 'schoolboy' attitude to sex, but he is 50+, giggles, silly jokes about his willy.
Don't get me wrong, he is a lovely man, we have fun together, but I just wish that he would sweep me off my feet now and again.
Is that wrong?

Have you told him how you feel and given him permission asked him to initiate sex?

What is his relationship history? Has he been married or lived with a dp?

Not married but LT partners. Of course he has permission to initiate sex. I often wait and wait, and nothing. If it wasn't for me then it would be a rarer event. When he does make the first move it is all fun and filled with innuendo, which makes me smile. But for once, I would love to be seduced, romanced, pounced on, whatever...
It's as if he hasn't moved passed the 14 year old boy stage.
In all other aspects he is wonderful.

He might not be the one for you then. If you're not happy don't just settle, you would be doing yourself an injustice!

That's what worries me. I do love him, I want to be with him.
I guess it's something I need to accept about him, none of us are perfect. Nor does the perfect man exist. I don't feel like I am settling.

Well if you don't feel like you're settling and you love him then you just need to decide if this is a deal breaker. Maybe just have a chat with him about how you feel. He might surprise you

You are right. I struggle with being direct. My exh was so controlling, I learned to keep my mouth shut, so opening up is tricky. I need to face this and deal with it.

I suspect your partner has absolutely no idea that I just wish that he would sweep me off my feet now and again. or

I would love to be seduced, romanced, pounced on, whatever... and he won't unless you tell him.

He's probably afraid of upsetting you if he takes the iniative. You need to talk about it and hint/spell out what you want. Sorry - he's not a mind reader!

Are you living with him and, if not, has he lived with any of his long-term partners?

You say you're not 'settling'. Could this be because you settled for the first man who showed you kindness after you left your marriage and you're now beginning to see his shortcomings?

I mentioned 'permisision' because of what you've described as his 'schoolboy' attitude to sex and the fact that you have to 'do all the running in the bedroom'. This could be because he fears that his advances won't be welcome or reciprocated, or it could be that he has a low sex drive in which case he's unlikely to become a testosterone fuelled Tarzan swinging from the chandlier and overwhelming you with his insistent masculinity.

Being direct about your wants and needs may cause him to start acting more a like 50+ man of the world than a 14 yo schoolboy in the bedroom and it could go some way to cure him of giggling and making silly jokes about his willy.

Good luck and I hope you'll come back with an update after you'd had a chat with him.