He's crap with money

[harveybristol]

I'm really frustrated.
I moved in with DP a few years ago, having had my own house, organised my own finances very well etc. When I moved in DP said that he would carry on taking care of all the bills etc if I took care of the groceries and household items.
Fast forward a few years, DD is born and we realise we cant afford to do it this way anymore and set up a joint bills account which we both pay into what we can afford.
The bills all still in his name, I thought he had set up for everything to come out monthly etc. He 'works with numbers' so seemed like the person to oversee everything out of the 2 of us.
However, it appears not. He is very disorganised and 'forgot' to swap some of the bills over to our new joint account, we've got annual water bills coming out, quarterly gas bills etc. And we're in the minus before we've even begun. Of course as our money builds up this will all pan out but I'm left with no money for Christmas.
He's told me he'll increase his overdraft again and I need to put it all on a credit card. Something I am not happy with as I dont do borrowing money.
I'm just so angry, because had he set everything up as we agreed in the first place we wouldnt be having to do this. I've asked him to put my name on the bills to save this happening again and he says he doesnt like making phone calls!
I've had to use all my birthday money to pay for our DD's christening because of this, yet he's away on a stag do this weekend and has upped his overdraft to pay for it. So frustrated. Had I been in control, this would never have happened. I just want to punch him for being so disorganised and lazy with our money. Advice for dealing with a lazy, stubborn, disorganised pain in the arse?

In addition to not having your name on the bills, I WOULD NOT set up a joint bank account with him. That creates a financial link between the two of you and could be more trouble later on than it's worth.

If he won't allow you to oversee the finances with him then you risk truly getting into the mire. Under such circumstances you'd be much better off not having any bills in your name, also DO NOT put any essential spending on a credit-card! That way, madness and misery lies

What makes you think you can tell me to do one? I replied to the thread nothing out of the ordinary and bam the op totally overreacts (like she's done with her dp) and a few of you think you can tell me what to do. Who died and made you queen?

He doesnt sound as if he see's you and he as a team harveybristol :(

"OP - personally I'd also be really, really reluctant to put anything on a credit card. Or the bills. Your not married - if you split all his debts will remain his, all yours remain all yours."

This is a really important point, and especially important when you're not married.

"It doesn't matter whose name the bills are in - if you both live there and use the utilities you are both liable."

Completely false! Legally, the responsibility for paying bills is the person whose name they are in. A utility company chasing a partner not named on the account through the courts for an unpaid bill would fail in court. They might as well try suing the next-door neighbour! This does not mean that two people sharing a home don't have an equal moral responsibility for ensuring bills are paid, but liable? No, absolutely not.

Upon reflection I suspect the OP's partner has debts that she's not aware of, and that's the fundamental reason there's not enough to settle essential bills.

Or, he's a reckless and selfish twat.

Maybe both.

Agree Bitter, if the bills are in your name then you are the one who has the contract with the company

I agree with Bitter too.

DH and I also don't have joint accounts. We both have our own separate current and savings accounts.

I'm not a fan of joint accounts.