DH forgot our 1 year wedding anniversary

[helloelo]

I just discovered while we were chatting before going to bed that DH forgot to buy me a small gift for our anniversary tomorrow. I have something small but meaningful planned. We discussed cotton / gold anniversaries a couple of weeks ago so he knew. How would you react?
I was visibly very disappointed so he started panicking and I told him I wasn't going to juge him based on that considering he's otherwise wonderful but I joked that would be the joke of the day for years to come. I'm sad though. It's ok to be, right, even if I recognise it's silly and he's much more than that?

No it's fine to be a bit sad. I would have been too.

DH is pretty shit at presents and the like; he manages cards but has a bad tendency to "take me out to buy something" for my birthday which rather sucks as I hate shopping under pressure (not that keen on it any time, tbh!) I'm still short of several birthday and a few Christmas presents because of this cunning tactic of his. :(

I don't think there's any value to be had in adjusting your expectations down to the lowest denominator of "Can't be arsed" - just remind your DH every year that your anniversary is coming up and you'd rather like him to get you something small.

Haha getting married on Valentine's Day has worked in my favour so far because we get a very visual reminder every year thanks to the Valentine's Day advertising

Happy Anniversary OP

Your thread got a bit derailed by things getting taken all a bit too seriously, which is ironic given then nature of the OP...

Hope your anniversary is better

You can't help being upset but you've said he's wonderful every day. I am of the belief that it is more special for him to be wonderful every day for no reason other than he loves you, rather than to get a gift on the day that he "must" if that makes sense?

RNB I don't see anything lighthearted in the OP...

Nor where the irony is - perhaps you could enlighten us?

I remember feeling a little bit sad on our first anniversary that DH had forgotten.

However, ten years down the line, the only reason I remembered to wish him a happy anniversary was because I was the one who opened the card from my PIL. (And I still claim it as a victory, despite DH's insistence that we said it at the same time, he having spotted the card as I was taking it out of the envelope. I definitely finished my sentence first )

I was the one that forgot our first anniversary, probably too overwhelmed with a new born baby who never slept!

We try and remember but life is busy and sometimes investing time in marking the day with a nice meal/night out is special enough xxx

My dh forgot our 1st wedding anniversary too! I just laughed it off, meh.

Anna wasn't unkind at all. She was very sensible.

I'm afraid I'm very much like your DH, luckily my own DH is too. We don't celebrate anniversaries. We celebrate our marriage every day by being kind, respectful partners (not saying you don't do this btw or playing marriage top trumps). For many people, an anniversary is just another date and I think perhaps you should be careful about dragging this out as a joke every time you have an anniversary. I just very kindly mean that perhaps you shouldn't approach this as him having done something wrong. You're not the injured party. You're just different. He hasn't deliberately tried to hurt you and shouldn't be punished for it. You say you won't so sounds like you're being thoroughly reasonable about it anyway. Don't hold it over him as an example. It's unfair.

It's okay to be sad. As long as you recognise it's because you place importance on anniversaries. He probably knows that now!

Happy Anniversary for today. Have a lovely day, whatever you end up doing.

I can understand why you're a bit upset if that sort of thing is important to you and DH knows it.
We're three years in and haven't yet bought each other an anniversary card or present. No discussion or angst over it, we just haven't. Doesn't mean we don't love each other ad much as couples who do the card/present thing (or vice versa).
No one had called you vile and entitled (or even implied it). You seem very sensitive about this.

It's fine to feel a bit miffed but seems it's more than that from your posts...

I think I would be a little disappointed if he forgot the first anniversary too! You don't sound like you're bitter and overreacting in you posts as some pp's have implied, or making a big deal out of it to him (I took the joking about it every year as just that - joking!). Many others are right that celebrating remembering it does fall by the wayside as the years go on, especially when kids arrive, but I think there is something special about the first one so it's ok to feel a little put out if he forgot.

Congratulations on your anniversary

Nobody has called you a vile and entitled woman. Don't twist things and read what isn't there. What bollocks.

What we have shown is that we are all different. Anniversaries are a big thing to some but not to others. Either point of view is fine. The problem comes when a couple have different expectations yet haven't communicated this properly to each other.

I am a bit like Joysmum in that I would be quite capable of forgetting my own birthday at some point.

You do come across as rather hyper sensitive. Best to relax more. Why not just suggest you simply go out for a nice meal today to celebrate. Much simpler.

Thank you all for the input. Some of them spot on. I'll put "lighthearted" in the title of all future topics from now on :)
Thank you very much for the congratulations , I'm rather excited.
Have a great day.

It came across as perhaps more sarcastic to me, CactusAnnie.

Anyway OP hope you have a great day now.