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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Solicitors Required...time to move on

7 replies

Timetomoveon2016 · 02/10/2015 11:07

Hi there,

Can anyone recommend a top (and preferably cheap) solicitor in London or surrounding areas. I don't mind travelling if they're really good and reasonably priced.

I've had enough and need to get a divorce from a STBEX before I lose my mind.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 02/10/2015 11:26

I'm at a bit of a loss on this one - but have you thought of contacting Women's Aid and seeing if they can make a recommendation? I don't know if you've been experiencing abuse of any kind but they may know of local solicitors that have some experience in that area and particularly - if you have any - with the issue of DCs.

Have you been in touch with them before?

Timetomoveon2016 · 02/10/2015 11:32

No haven't been to them before but not sure if I'm eligible. I'll give them a ring. Thanks.

No abuse, adultery or anything. I just feel that it's time to move on. Been married 6 years and no sex or any form of intimacy the last 3! I'm not angry, just disappointed.

Oh well - life moves on

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 02/10/2015 11:36

I would be thinking that no intimacy for 3 years is unlikely to be your only problem, I'm afraid.

Do you have any DCs?

goddessofsmallthings · 02/10/2015 13:19

Does your h also want to end your marriage?

'Top' solicitors don't come cheap, but you can file for divorce online and may only need to instruct a solicitor if you're unable to agree child care arrangements and/or the division of joint assets directly with your h or through mediation.

Timetomoveon2016 · 02/10/2015 14:15

Yes we have one 4 year old son. And why would that not be the only problem? Reckon infidelity could play a part?

Husband would prefer to fight for the marriage but I'm just not interested. I don't think I was ever 100% TBH and I can't see myself staying for the trust of my life for the sale of my son. He's an amazing father so childcare wouldn't be too much hassle to arrange.

We have 2 properties as assets (1 each before we got married) and cash with few debts. I'm not working as I chose to start a Business. But, I would go back full time when the divorce proceedings start as the Business doesn't pay me yet.

He does a lot for the family but Im just not into him! I admit it's my fault - as he's tried everything to make it work. He would never cheat or leave his son without.

Sorry for the grammatical errors I'm writing and walking at the same time.

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goddessofsmallthings · 02/10/2015 15:24

If he's unwilling to accept that your marriage is over, it may be that a couple of sessions of couples counselling will be sufficient to enable you to reach an amicable resolution of child care arrangements and agreement as to the division of joint marital assets.

If this can be achieved, either of you could then proceed to divorce online citing unreasonable behaviour* immediately or you could agree to live separately and divorce by mutual consent in 2 years' time, albeit the current court fees of £415 may have increased. www.gov.uk/divorce/overview

*Unreasonable behaviour does not have to be extreme as the courts generally accept that the fact the petition to divorce is before them indicates that the marriage has broken down and that reconciliation is not an option, nor is the spouse who is accused penalised in any way for their alleged unreasonableness.

It's only necessary to cite 3 or 4 examples of the behaviour complained of which could include spending too much time working, being moody or argumentative, failing to engage in conversations about necesaary household purchases, reluctance to particpate in family events, socialising with others to the detriment of family life, and the lack of intimacy you've mentioned.

As you'd have nothing to lose if he divorced you, it may be this could be an option which tips his scales in favour of ending your marriage sooner rather than later.

Timetomoveon2016 · 02/10/2015 16:45

Counselling would definitely be my preferred option. We did go to relate a couple of years ago, and to or Church Pastors but I still feel the same :(

2 years is a bit long to wait I would rather it's done quickly and immediately. He's indecisive but when he makes up his mind (I think he'll agree to the divorce) he can be the same as me.

I could never have dreamt I'd be in this situation. Feel so sad

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