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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how to rebuild a collapsed friendship?

5 replies

arsenelupin · 01/12/2006 15:24

I had a mc in April, and it clashed with the collapse of a workplace friendship that had been slowly disintegrating. Basically, the week I had the mc, she signed herself off for 2 months on medical grounds. A month before that, we'd had a tiff because she was messing around with some complicated work things I was co-ordinating. Prima donna behaviour - I thought she was attention-seeking. When my mc started she'd been ignoring me for a month. I said some pretty ripe things on her answer phone the morning of my mc - her answer was to say by email (cc.'ed to a male colleague), 'I'm sorry you are unwell, I had a migraine'. 4 months after this mess, she came back to work and dropped me a note saying, 'I hope you are fully recovered. I've been away too.' Cheers - I'd had to take on some of her work, so yes, I'd noticed. I replied I didn't want to see her, and now (another 3 months on) regret doing that. I'm tempted to make the effort to see her, but it would only be to save me embarrassment should I bump into her at work. Do you think it's possible/advisable? There are a couple of colleagues who could (perhaps) act as intermediaries.

OP posts:
fairyjay · 01/12/2006 15:52

Send her a Christmas card, and suggest in it that you meet for a drink to toast a happier year for both of you.

tc58 · 01/12/2006 20:39

you don't really want to be friends, do you? you just want to save embarrassment? just act dignified and pleasant but distant. Mind your manners and maybe she will mind hers!

theposterformerlyknownasMammyM · 01/12/2006 20:41

Sounds like you're better off without her, just be professional and polite, you don't have to be friends with work collegues.

arsenelupin · 01/12/2006 21:22

Thank you all, this is very helpful. I think my emotions are all mixed up about it, and now I see things more clearly, the friendship had already been vanishing for a while, for reasons I'll never know - I think I will keep things polite and distant, and just avoid working with her in the future if I can.

OP posts:
Britney200 · 04/08/2017 15:33

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