Someone tell me to stop ��

[rockabillyruby82]

This is long, bear with me.
I found out Mon night DH has been having an affair since around June/July. We have a DS and I'm pregnant. I know the OW, she has been round our house and spent time with our child.
I was and am heartbroken, I told him to leave which he did.
We've had little contact since except to arrange him seeing our DS.

Problem is I miss him. Our relationship hasn't been great for a while but I miss him and a part of me wants to try and start again.
I doubt it's an option, he's still involved with OW. I know this because I've done nothing but snoop his accounts I can access. What I'm finding is tearing me apart.

I know I need to stay strong, I know it will get easier over time. I know this but I can't stop the 'ifs' and 'maybes'

I wish I could stop

What a complete fucking arse

What a shame about his family, do they know the whole story?

Your body, your pregnancy, your choice. I can't imagine him being there would be helpful in the circumstances, how many weeks are you?

I'm 17 weeks. Got 2nd scan soon which he is not welcome at.
His family know he's had an affair, not sure there's much more they need to know. The situation is bad without details.

Yeah he can explain to his family what he has done ...detach

I suppose you have time to decide, but don't feel bad if you don't want him at the scan or the birth, it's totally understandable

The same goes for his family, either they're helpful and supportive or they can fuck off, you don't need any more idiots around you - their choice. Decide what you want and let everyone know, be matter of fact, don't be apologetic, you've done nothing wrong here

My ex isn't coming to the birth (he told me he is, I don't think he's realised it actually isn't up to him) I'm happy for him to see the baby as soon as possible once he's born, but he doesn't need to be there for the labour, that part has to be all about what is best for you.

Exactly Spanish, my body, my pregnancy, my labour. There isn't a midwife alive that would allow the dad in against mums wishes.

He's here at the mo seeing DS. We've had a talk and it has deepened my resolve to continue being strong and have a future without him. He's said he isn't with OW, it's a friendship that went to far. Don't believe him at all. He's accepted my ground rules.
I'm looking at him and just feel hatred, I just see him shagging OW.
Bleurgh!!

You're perfectly entitled to have whoever you want there at the birth, and I don't think I could bear to be at my most vulnerable in front of someone who had done this.