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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional abuse, just out of relationship; rant

6 replies

Oldisthenewblack · 30/09/2015 16:11

I posted recently about something unrelated to my break up, but I just feel I need a rant today. I'm recently out of an emotionally abusive relationship and today I'm feeling like shit. I'm so tired, mentally and physically with everything that's happened and I'm particularly frustrated that it's depleted my strength and motivation to get to the gym, and that's one of the things that was giving me something to focus on lately.

I've been an idiot, I know that. I let it continue far, far longer than it should have and it was clear that this could be the only outcome (other than a miserable life for me). No matter what though, I know he loved me. Yes, yes, I know, I know, but anyway. And what's happening now is exactly what I always knew would happen, what always happened after an 'upset' - he never 'chased' me. It was always me that did that, it was my job. He was never the 'stalker' type - far from it. Doing the running was always beneath him, and I always knew that when I finally decided it was over, he wouldn't come after me. And here he is, not coming after me.

Yes, yes, it's true I don't want him back, but it still HURTS. Oh, he's sent heaps of passive-aggressive texts, but that's about his limit. Nothing constructive, not anything that could be construed as empathy or compassion for my state now, having self harmed again during our last interaction. He's a selfish, arrogant bastard and I knew he was arrogant very early on, but I ignored it. Well, that's come back to haunt me, hasn't it? He could never apologise, never back down. I have been such a fucking idiot. I think back to all the times he was a total arsehole and wonder what the hell was wrong with me that I continually got back with him?

Anyway, I just needed to get all this off my chest as I really am feeling shite today and I know there's more shite to come.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
YellowTangerine · 01/10/2015 11:23

Similar situation to myself. Stayed far longer than I should have. I always chased. Split 3 weeks ago he is with someone else rubbing it in my face how happy he is. Felt pretty drained recently but staying positive. This will all pass just be patient.

0dfod · 01/10/2015 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oldisthenewblack · 01/10/2015 12:03

YellowTangerine - well done for staying positive. And for getting away from him. Three weeks and he's with someone else?? Lovely. Would love to know how THAT pans out... You're right, it will pass.

Odfod - I think that's it, you know, it has been an adrenaline wave. And as someone who has M.E. adrenaline is something my body can't handle, even to the point of having to ask for a non-adrenaline injection at the dentist (nearly put 'the hairdressers' there). Guess it's not surprising my body is at a low ebb.

Woke up to another passive aggressive text today (he sent me one last night) "No need to reply". This, I presume, because I haven't replied to any of his sad attempts to get me to bite. AH well. Will get my arse in gear and attempt the gym today.

Thank you for your responses, they are appreciated Smile

OP posts:
0dfod · 01/10/2015 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0dfod · 01/10/2015 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oldisthenewblack · 01/10/2015 12:33

Thanks Od will look at both of those. Need all the help I can get at the moment. I do hope things settle down for you soon - we need calm.

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