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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

freind & new partner attraction

9 replies

eraeraera · 30/09/2015 12:19

months ago i started a new relationship. we had been chatting online for 5 months first & after my previuos relationship & all its problems its a big deal for me.shortly after we first met he was introduced to a friend, slightly younger than me, & currently seperated from her husband.I wasnt expecting this, but there seemed to build up an attraction, as we kept bumping into her & she's much more bubbly & slimmer/fitter. There was a day when they were obviuosly flirting & freind didnt seem at all bothered about doing it, & was quite clearly making a play for him ; & he was going along with it...I finally asked new partner & he admitted he found her attractive, " but i'm with you, & im not interested in anyone else" were his words. I told him i didnt want anything to change but that i was uncomfy with it being as my ex was always flirting online & often in front of me..& my confidence is low from that.He has been working away & is back soon, im still meeting up with 'freind' & already im apprehensive about inevitably bumping into her & having all sorts of weird thoughts re they are better matched et etc ( they have some things in common too) & i know wheneve rshe is around i wont feel happy. She is also likely to be joining a group we're both starting locally so they will have contact through that. im socially quite isolated so i dont want to stop freindships when i dont have many & she lives opposite me!

OP posts:
summerwinterton · 30/09/2015 12:44

I would ditch them both. Staying with him and friends with her is going to trash your already ruined self esteem. Why do you think you deserve so little?

WhyDontYouProveIt · 30/09/2015 12:50

Already they have flirted in front of you. I don't think he is serious about you and she is not your friend. Agree that you can do better

magoria · 30/09/2015 12:56

Dump them both now.

Before yours and his lives are more entwined.

Sorry you deserve better than a friend like this and someone who stays with you because he met you first.

Rebecca2014 · 30/09/2015 13:14

She is not your friend if she is flirting with your boyfriend.

I would ditch them both.

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 30/09/2015 13:17

Ditche them both, especially the "friend"

Friends do NOT flirt with other friends partners

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 30/09/2015 13:30

Yeah, you can see this train wreck from a mile away. Step off now. Sorry.

They both may play nice-nice to your face (denying, deflecting) but it's the actions that speak louder than words. Don't be their entertainment.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 30/09/2015 14:41

Yep. I'd dump both without hesitation.

BolshierAryaStark · 30/09/2015 17:10

Agree with the others, dump them both-really unpleasant of them to flirt in front of you.

bjrce · 30/09/2015 17:46

Agree with others, losr them both, but not before you get a dig at said friend, " God, x said you were such an obvious flirt, is she line that with all men?" Let her question herself, put her back in her box

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