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Original poster

gap too big????

16 replies

older39 · 12/05/2004 17:22

after some bad relationships i have finally found happiness with someone who could be my soulmate. i am crazy about him and he is about me, just one thing, the age gap is 18 years, i am older. i know i know but i can't help myself, i feel so happy.

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/05/2004 17:27

Are you a regular who has changed your name Older39?

sykes · 12/05/2004 17:28

Lou, it's not me. Good luck 39, by the way.

Nutcracker · 12/05/2004 17:30

Well i am 25 and my dp is 46 (18 and 38 when we met). If he is happy and you are happy then go for it. Don't be surprised if people don't like it though.
My dad refused to speak to me for a while and we were the butt of many jokes.
It is hard sometimes and i can't say i never notice the age gap (especially when he's moaning) but we have been together 7 1/2 years and people just accept it now.

It's your life, go for it.

Original poster
older39 · 12/05/2004 17:31

yes i am a regular but am too embarassed to reveal all. sykes, are you older then like me?

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/05/2004 17:31

LOL, it didn't occur to me it was Sykes! Just wondered as it is a first ever post under that name.

hercules · 12/05/2004 17:31

We're in a mixed marriage and told it woukld never last but 10 yearslater still happy.

lou33 · 12/05/2004 17:31

How long have you known him Older39?

sykes · 12/05/2004 17:33

Yes. Am having a fling with someone younger than me at the moment - rather nice, actually. But he's certainly not my soulmate.

goosey · 12/05/2004 17:35

I had 7 happy years with a 22yr age gap. Then I broke his heart and left him to marry a younger man. The age gap gets more and more noticeable as you both get older, but if it fits now then go for it. You're both adults and hearts can be broken in any relationship where two hearts dare to trust.

Nutcracker · 12/05/2004 17:35

So you are 39 then yes ??? and he is 21 ??

Original poster
older39 · 12/05/2004 17:36

lou, have known him very vaguely about a year really but only seeing him for last couple of weeks

OP posts:
Original poster
older39 · 12/05/2004 17:40

it just feels right. yes 1 am 39 he is 21, but he looks older and i look younger. sykes how much older are you

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/05/2004 17:40

Am being nosey, how did you meet?

Original poster
older39 · 12/05/2004 17:41

just in a pub (the usual)

OP posts:
californiagirl · 13/05/2004 17:28

I refused to date DH for 3 years because he's 14 years younger than I am. Eventually I gave in. There's no telling how long it will last (there never is), but so far it's been amazing. He believes everything is possible. (I'm also 39, by the way, but we were 38 and 24 when we started dating.)

spacemonkey · 13/05/2004 17:36

relationships with big age gaps can be successful - go with it and enjoy!

i think the thing with a big age gap is that there are certain areas that you won't have in common - silly things like the TV programmes you remember from childhood - it's a common frame of reference that you have with someone near to your own age. But the absence of that frame of reference doesn't mean the relationship can't work - there are far more dimensions to a relationship than just that, aren't there!

21 is very young and he won't have had anywhere near the life experience you have - that might cause friction later on. But it might not. It would be too easy to sit and analyse it and decide it will go wrong without giving it a chance. And that could be a terrible waste.

Do you think you'll encounter disapproval and negative attitudes from friends/family? Would that matter?

Just rambling now ... I'd just go for it and enjoy yourself and see what happens! Good luck X

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