Can I ask for some advice on issue with MIL & DH

[mosschops30]

Me and dh always go away for new year, normnally just 2 nights. My parents always have the children, but last year my mum said they were going away with friends this year so would not be able to do it.

Anyway dh asked his mother who said and i quote 'no i dont think so, it will be a bit much with Christmas' !!!!

I am really upset that she cant offer to do this one favour for us so we can have a break together. Neither MIL or FIL work, she plays golf all the time and shops, they are both healthy and in their 50's, they rarely have the children, and we are only going over Xmas day for lunch with the kids, she's not doing a banquet for 15 people, plus its the one day of the year we ever get invited over for dinner.

I know lots of you will say that its their right to refuse, but would you not be slightly pissed off. On balance my mum works part time and does voluntary work, and my father is very ill with Parkinsons, but they love having the kids because they love being grandparents.

I am so angry with dh even though its not his fault, I just wish he would say something to her. I really dont want to go for Xmas dinner now, but dh says I'm being silly. They never ever come over (5 minute drive) even though we both work we are expected to take the kids over.

Just want to know really if i just put up and shut up and smile sweetly on Xmas day or say something and put my foot down

Urgh, this is a tricky one. Unfortunately, it sounds like his parents are just not good Grandparent material. (this is often something we forget to check out when selecting our dh, but at that stage of course we don't realise how important it is!) Some of them are like that, and there is not a thing you can do about it. You certainly can't make them have the kids for the weekend - and goodness knows what sort of weekend the kids would have(although it doesn't do your kids any harm to see that your pleasure takes priority over theirs sometimes!). And there would be festering resentment for the rest of your lives too.

Nope, I think you are going to have to grit your teeth on this one. You never know, they may prefer older kids and warm up as your kids grow up, or you may be able to use subtle guilt tactics and get them to contrbute in other ways (eg driving lessons later on). But I think you are going to have to find another solution for your weekend away. Could your mum have them for Valentine's day? or a Birthday weekend or something instead?