He's left me with our baby

[Merrill885]

My bf told me he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't see a future with me. Our baby is 11 weeks old.

At least he has done it now!

Your baby won't remember him, unless you agree some contact arrangements.

Get your family and friends to support you.

Work out a budget and enjoy your baby.

How are you fixed financially and practically, Merrill ? Can you manage on those things?

How long have you been together and are you buying/renting a property in joint names? Is your bf named on your dc's birth certificate?

What do you think may have caused him to announce that he no longer loves you? Was he looking forward to his dc's arrival and has he been a hands on df since his birth, or could it be that he's involved with an ow?

If you're living together, has he made plans to leave and what has he offered by way of child maintenance?

Do you have family/friends who will rally round and help you come to terms with this abrupt change in your circumstances?

He started being colder and pulling away from me before our ds was born. A couple of times he stayed out all night drinking with his friends. I suspected ow but he denied this. He leaves his phone open and emails and I have found no proof.

We were renting a flat together but he has now moved out and is staying with friends. Part of the problem was that I wanted to buy somewhere and he didn't. He kept saying it was too expensive and not worth it. But now I've seen an email from him looking for places to buy. I feel betrayed and furious.

He has also been spreading rumours that I am crazy and have lost it. I think I've stayed so calm because we have a small child and have held it back when I could have lost my shit.

Now his mum is involved.

I have good friends and family but no one can give me advice. My mum is very sweet and just wants to keep the peace but I feel he will take advantage of me.

He hasn't paid any money and my pay is going down next month!

I have no trust in him. I need advice on how to protect myself and my beautiful baby. Im sure I'm better off without him but it hurts that he has just walked out on us.

Tell his mum the absolute truth, hold nothing back from her, do NOT protect him from his own actions. Just don't cry at her when you do, try to remain calm, or those who love him best/longest will see your actions as verifying his actions.

Tell your mum you will do the obvious and fight for your son's rights, he can leave you but he cannot abandon him.

Tell him to stop being so childish, spreading rumours about you will only harm his son in the long run. Tell him not paying you anything is also going to harm his son, that you will be ensuring that any harm he wants to inflict will be minimised by a court.

Find yourself a good solicitor, go home and have a good cry.

And come back here and have a good scream if you need it. xx

Take all of the good advice from the great Mumsnet mums that have experienced this type of betrayal before. Take him for every penny you can for your son. This post will have many good replys to your dilemma.
Best wishes to you both..

Others will be along with excellent advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I have a small baby myself and can only imagine how awful you must be feeling. You will be hurt for yourself but probably even more for your baby as it seems so cruel to walk out on someone you're supposed to love unconditionally.

I would initially try to encourage a relationship between him and the baby as, if one is established and nurtured, it will be good for your baby and give you a break. If he's not interested then screw him. Make sure he pays for his child regardless though!

I promise you will look back soon and things will be so much better. Take care.

How long have you been in this relationship and was this baby planned ?