Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Been so long by myself and dont know what to do

6 replies

bridie69 · 28/09/2015 17:26

Hi
I haven't had a relationship since my much-loved husband died suddenly 8 years ago. My children are all grown up and I am in my early 50s. Good social life, job etc. I recently met someone who has expressed and interest and while it is at one level lovely to hear and has made me feel different to how I have felt for a long time, I just don't know what to do. He is 9 years younger but I suppose that doesnt matter. I don' t want to clip his wings either. The last email exchange I told him I don't need (as in have to have) a man in my life- maybe he now thinks I am not interested. It is early days getting to know him, but so far it has been all good the time I have spent with him. We seem to have a connection, but I have finally learned to be happy by myself and when I least, literally when I least expected this, this comes along. He is a lovely guy and many would run to be with him I would have thought, so why am I being like this?

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 28/09/2015 19:16

Is there any element of guilt that you might be doing something when your husband is no longer around?

Have your DCs expressed any genuine thoughts about the life you are currently leading?

springydaffs · 28/09/2015 19:16

Sounds healthy to me, birdie. You're considering a major life change - the last thing you expected - and it's going to take you time to get your head around the idea.

Irrelevant that many would consider him a good bet; this is your life, your lifestyle, a major change to consider. It's absolutely true you don't need a man to complete you - the right man for you would welcome that.

You don't have to jump to in order to make him feel comfortable - you need to feel comfortable. You are your priority. He can look after himself, he's an adult; you don't have to look after his feelings for him, that's his job.

Just enjoy spending time with him. See what happens over time.

springydaffs · 28/09/2015 19:17

Bridie!

bridie69 · 28/09/2015 19:42

So so true both of you. Thanks. My DH is not the reason behind my reticence although I understand the question. DCs are right behind me under all circumstances. It is just an adjustment that is all. I didn't think about that part of my life for so long it is a kind of reawakening.

OP posts:
springydaffs · 28/09/2015 19:53

How delightful!

Enjoy yourself Bridie Flowers

cozietoesie · 28/09/2015 20:29
Smile

So it feels a bit like coming to life again?

As springydaffs said, enjoy yourself.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread