My husband of 10 years and I separated 6 weeks ago. 4 weeks prior to this I suspected he was having an affair, in a nutshell he changed his phone password, new clothes, dieting, going out with stupid excuses and stopped initiating sex. When i confronted him he had an excuse for everything and denied the affair but said he wanted to split as we didn't love each other anymore, had nothing in common and the constant arguing was toxic for us and our 2 DC's.
He's right, we did always argue, we weren't happy for a few years, I always rejected his physical advances as wasn't interested, I resented him for not having a job as through most of our marriage I supported him financially. He was also quite volatile in his moods (never violent) and used to shout a lot and was lazy in terms of housework.
The 'affair' started shortly after he did eventually get a job, and obviously gained back some confidence and ran off with the first person who showed him some attention.
A couple of days ago I found out he had been seeing the person I suspected he was having an affair with and I confronted him, he still denies that anything happened while we were together and it's only been a couple of dates and they are just seeing how it goes as they have both just come out of relationships.
I don't know whether to believe this or not and I hate myself for even caring and for letting him know I'm even bothered. I keep quizzing him on all the details of this new relationship which isn't healthy but I can't stop.
She is the opposite in personality to be as she is very bubbly and affectionate which he missed with me.
She also already knew me and the kids so this transition has happened with him taking the kids out and her joining as a friend, now to dad's new girlfriend. kids are happy, exdh and OW are happy it's only me left behind.
I fear kids will find her more fun to be around than me as well.
I hate that he is so happy even though he has left his house, wife and children and has no money and nowhere to live, obviously she is enough for him.
I also hate that I'm not ready to move on with anyone else yet.
Most of all I hate that when I think about our marriage all I think about is the good times, never the bad and how he used to treat me, I also think how if I had behaved differently then we could still be happy. Is this normal and how do I stop?