Hi
My husband moved out of the family home 3 months ago. This is the fourth time in 15 years of marriage. The first time was after a brief affair 12 years ago. My world fell apart. Our children were very young. After a year we tried again. All okay until Christmas 5 years ago when he moved out upon discovering he was "not happy". After 8 weeks he apologised and said it wasn't me that caused his unhappiness after all. He moved back in. 14 months later he moved out again for the same reason. We were apart for 2 years On 2 occasions he asked if we could try again and I refused. Spring last year he caught me off guard at a difficult time, told me he was giving up his job and could we start dating. A couple of months later he moved back in. Needless to say after about 4 months it started going wrong..
Im sure anyone reading this will think that I am a complete walkover but Im not. With children involved I felt it was the best thing to do and genuinely wanted my marriage to work. We went to Relate but not for very long as everything seemed to be working out and also he couldnt commit to the appointments for work reasons. I am very angry with myself for accepting him back this last time and in fact the children were against it to start with. He made so many promises about how things would change and and I fell for it. I am at a point now where I really dislike him. He has not treated me nicely when we have been together. He is very successful in his career and I believe the power has gone to his head over the years. He suffers from SAD and his behaviour during winter is horrible.
He recently told me he has been seeing someone. I thought it seemed very soon after he moved out but I guess its his life..
So can anyone please explain to me why I am feeling so broken? I have an amazing circle of friends who are so supportive but none that have been through a marriage break up under the same circumstances. I would NOT have him back again ever. He lives in London now. Sees the children often. But I am stunned that I feel so hurt by this. And the fact he is already seeing someone else hurts too. Why couldnt he make it work with me? Its the old "I don't want you but then nobody else can have you" scenario! Am I mourning that my marriage is finally over? I keep very busy but do not work and my days have recently become longer. Its time to return to work but I find it hard to focus at the moment sometimes. Im all over the place!
HELP!