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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

jekyll and hyde behaviour

9 replies

Jillarory · 27/09/2015 20:12

Wondering if someone can explain this for me. I have a good 'friend' (male) who can be adorable, sweet, kind, generous, willing to go out of his way to help people. But if you annoy him he won't tell you and instead turns into a moody, selfish, rude git who points out all your faults and thinks its entertaining to wind you up and lie to you. i've seen him do this to a couple of people before yet he doesn't seem to be aware he's doing it and when challanged about the rudeness says that's just the way he is.

The reason I ask is that I've been on the end of the git behaviour for a few months, although it took ages to get him to admit he was pissed off with me, and had pretty much given up on the friendship but recently I've seen him do some great things for other people which has made me want to be persist. Maybe I'm too tolerant but i think everyone has issues and no one deliberately sets out to behave like an idiot. I'm wondering if there might be some kind of underlying mental health issue or personality disorder which might cause this switch.

OP posts:
ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 27/09/2015 20:25

I don't think you need to start over analysing this and finding possible diagnoses to explain his behaviour. It doesn't matter how he is treating other people, he is treating you like shit and is, therefore, not your friend.

I don't care if this is 'what he does', I wouldn't put up with this treatment.

loveyoutothemoon · 27/09/2015 20:28

I wouldn't either!

brokenhearted55a · 27/09/2015 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBlaBlah · 27/09/2015 21:47

Yes you are too tolerant and your 'friend' sounds like an arsehole.

Who cares if he has a personality disorder?

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 21:48

and he is still your friend ?

more fool, you

UncertainSmile · 27/09/2015 23:58

Sounds like a personality disorder to me! (And I should know). That's no reason to put up with this level of shittiness and disrespect though.

Reese123 · 28/09/2015 00:02

He's probably truly more Jekyl than Hyde. Sounds very fake and only doing things to probably get something in return.

Trust me I went out with someone like that - best to do without. You really don't need someone like that in your life - it will only be truly mentally draining to you.

Go be friends with people that deserve your company and attention

Casimir · 28/09/2015 08:08

do some great things for other people which has made me want to be persist
Because you miss the exploitable resource. Walk away.

whatisforteamum · 28/09/2015 08:10

My dh is like this.Lovely kind and helpful.Never says no to anyone.Then rather say anything he just builds up resentment or tiredness then blows up at us.I can ask him what is wrong and he will say nothing.I think some people like to be seen as "nice" so keep quiet then have awful outbursts where they blurt out everything.It is hard work living like it.

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