H has been emotionally and financial abusive. I've seen the light.
H is now, finally, making an effort. He's even apologised. The trouble is, I don't care any more.
He says he never knew how unhappy I was; I say I tried to tell him over and over again and he chose not to listen. He says I could have made more of an effort to communicate; I say that if he had any regard for me whatsoever I wouldn't have had to.
He says he's been merely thoughtless and complacent; I say he may not have been actively malicious but there's only so long that anyone can play that card before it collectively becomes more than thoughtless complacency.
It seems to me that either he's fundamentally not a very nice person, and the effort to be kind and respectful will slip in time or he's perfectly capable of being pleasant and chose not to for the best part of a decade.
Neither is an attractive proposition. Even if he promises to treat me well forever, I'll spend my whole life looking for how he's playing me now, or resentful of past shit.
If he'd had an affair (he hasn't) and I said that as a result the trust was irretrievably gone, people would accept that. But because my trust has been eroded by a decade of disrespect, lies and financial abuse people in RL say I owe it to him to try again. We have small children.
So I need to ask, before I take the final plunge and leave - is it possible that he could change? And is it possible I could trust him again?