Can anyone recommend any books/ websites on relationships/ marriages

[MissHulahoop]

I want to leave. H doesn't want me to. I'm confused. My emotions are everywhere. I can't afford a therapist. Dont have anyone I can really talk to in RL.

Just want to think this through properly. Instinct says just leave but I have very young DCs and maybe try to make things work but I just need some guidance on where to start. We're not really getting anywhere when we've tried to talk about it.

TIA.

Have you looked at any of the books published by Relate?

Or this

www.amazon.co.uk/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0752837265

Alternatively, tell us more about what is going on in your relationship, there are lots of wide people on here that I'm sure can help you...

Wise not wide!

Haha thanks ill have a look. Didn't realise relate did their own books.

What are the issues in your relationship? It may help to narrow down recommendations.

We can help you here though you may have to prepare yourself for conflicting advice and some derailing conflicts between posters.

If you say more about why you want to leave and what your relationship is like it will be clearer what books are right for you.

At the moment your situation actually seems completely clear. You want to leave. Your husband's opinion is, unfortunately, pretty irrelevant.

If you are having an affair or have feelings elsewhere this is a very different situation from if you are in an abusive relationship, for example.

You don't need his permission to leave.

However, what would have to change for you to want to stay?

Al

Oops.

Alot would have to change. I actually want control of my life back. Things that are so important to me which I feel should be discussed as a couple and so joint decisions should be made didn't happen for me. Issues around which house to buy, money, children have all been decided by him alone even when I have voiced my opinions/ concerns. Some of these decisions have meant that we are now massively struggling financially. He listen to me even though I told over and over.

I want to be able to make my own decisions that would benefit/ suit me and my kids.

Can you do that and stay married to him?
Can any of the decisions be reversed?

And why did he make all the decisions?
Is he controlling? Or just arrogant/stubborn?

Sounds like he thinks he now gets to decide for both of you that you stay married.

Do you love him?

I really don't know if I love him if I'm honest. My emotions are a bit all over the place at the moment.

None of the big decisions can be reversed really. He said we could move to a somewhere I wanted but I feel I can't because it wouldn't make sense financially. Our house is in negative equity too which I told him at the time as well but he wouldn't listen.

He says we could do things how ever I want them but I keep telling him its too late now. We can't undo all the decisions. We're essentially just stuck and I have to live with it. I feel such a mess.

He really isn't keen on me leaving and I sort of feel that he doesn't think I will actually go through with it either which really annoys me too. He's just carrying on as normal like as though we never even had a conversation.

You can get phone counselling with Relate. I needed it to sort out an issue of mine, was totally skint at the time and think I only paid £10 due to tax credits.

Really helped and the woman I spoke to (twice) emailed me links and books to read.