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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

saturday moanfest

8 replies

sadsaturday · 26/09/2015 19:57

not sure where to start but here goes... I hate to feel sorry for myself but life is really, really getting me down. I really don't know what to do any more and am scared I am becoming depressed.
the problem is I'm 47,single, no kids. ok job,am a professional with good salary but would love to be able to afford part time(am in London so high mortgage/outgings).
over the last 5 years, my mother has had cancer, my sister is very ill, don't want to say what with but she is also very demanding of me to support her. my brother seems to be developing mental health problems which is just downright scary. my other sister is oblivious, married 2 lovely children, keeps away from all the problems.
I've had several long term relationships,longest 6 years, 4 of them with the men saying he wanted marriage etc...then after a time reneging on it so I ended them, last serious one ended 4 years ago. since then I put on a lot of weight with all the stress, found a lot of friends not that supportive, don't go out much now and when I do I have met really awful men(a few dates) which makes me feel 10 times worse. I feel so lonely, feel the only person I can talk to is my mum and dreading the time when she's no longer around.Ive tried being positive, not looking for someone, actively looking for someone, hobbies, "say yes to everything",but nil.
I feel a shadow of my former outgoing, positive self, totally knocked down by life. I know I could go online or have counselling but have no desire to do so. do I have to just accept that I will probably now stay single forever?
sorry this post is awful on reading it....

OP posts:
sadsister4 · 26/09/2015 20:39

Oh you poor thing. You've had a very tough time of it and it sounds as though you could really do with some time to come to terms with everything.

Who's looking after you? You need to make sure you do, if no-one else is.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned counselling. Or yoga, meditation...something to lift the spirits?

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:34

You sound as if you are carrying a lot of other people's problems, as wel as your own. You have my sympathies - life can be hard sometimes.

What would you like to happen in your life? Deciding on that is the first step to making it happen.

Best of luck!

Iflyaway · 27/09/2015 00:52

You're 47, no kids, single...?

You have the best life. Imagine you have one year of life left What would you do?

I'd go travelling.....Might not be what you want to do but get out of your comfort zone...

Go for what you want in life. You only get one chance.

went travelling, met DS's dad, ended doing it all myself

As the Buddhists say "No-one will be lying on their death bed saying "I wish I'd spent longer in the office or kept a cleaner house" Grin

brokenhearted55a · 27/09/2015 00:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a · 27/09/2015 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iflyaway · 27/09/2015 00:56

And nowadays they would say Don't Spend Time On Online Dating waiting for rubbish men too Smile

Iflyaway · 27/09/2015 00:59

Nothing wrong with being single. We are stronger than we think!

God, you only have to read the crap relationships women put up with on MN..

sadsaturday · 27/09/2015 09:15

thanks, your different perspectives are a big help, just someone to acknowledge and see positives somewhere

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