Been married to my hubby for 17 years, have 2 children girl of 15 and boy of 13. Our marriage is again in tatters and falling apart.
Some history before I get to the point. I love my good honest hubby which is why I married him but have never felt passionate about him. 2 years into the marriage and due to a PC problem he found out that I had been in secret contact with a previous ex boyfriend who had broken me to bits. Hubby was surprised, disappointed and felt I was being deceptive and not happy about this secret so I agreed to drop it. 6 years later I ended up purely by accident having a 4 month emotional affair with another ex that this time I felt very passionate about. Two of my friends supported me and in a girly way told me that what I was doing was not wrong as no sex was involved and that I should enjoy life whilst I can. My hubby protested and insisted that this was infidelity even though no physical contact was made and we almost got to the point of divorce.
8 years later and now I have found a fantastic female friend who I feel extremely close to. I have known her for 2 years but since June with our mutual sharing of problems and girl to girl discussions our friendship has become so intense that we just adore being in other's company. We text, phone and more so, email each other and just can't wait to spend time together when it is feasible (an evening after work, a day off work or half a sunday) and fits in with our families' needs. There is no sexual contact between us, however, the mutual intensity has lead us to be extremely tactile in a non sexual way. ie. we have skin contact, strong huggings etc and we have agreed boundaries.
My husband tells me that he noticed my habits and behaviour changing dramatically and is surprised that I have to be checking my emails at every opportunity, although, the frequency has been falling for the last couple of weeks. Initially, he suspected that I was onto another emotional affair with a man which is not the case.
After, explaining the depth of my new very close friendship with this female he still cannot accept it and claims that its intensity together with the past issues, has wrecked the marriage.
What I want to know from other mums is this: Do I not have a right to have an intimate female friend that I love and adore and, do not want to share its privacy with my hubby? Is he being unreasonable? After a number of attempts to get him to understand that there are parts of my inner core that are not his business, he is has shut down.
H E L P..
Would love any views and advice.