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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Where to start?

3 replies

Lostandfounddad · 25/09/2015 20:50

What a lousy day!
I was going to write a message tonight asking for advice on meeting new people and making friends. I recently went part time at work to allow 50/50 custody with kids and more time for me to start my life again (wife left me almost 3 years ago, had kids half the nights but still worked full time up to a month ago). I know I need to get out there, with and without kids, meet people/find a hobby etc but, to be honest, I'm struggling. I feel so out of practice and ill at ease in social situations I end up actively avoiding situations, even coming up with excuses.

Yet tonight that seems the least of my concerns. Picked up my daughter to be told there had an incident at school where she had scratched another girl. I have no doubt it was an accident but my daughter was distraught (she is a pleaser, gets upset if she feels she has done something wrong). Dealt with it the best I can but doubting myself.

Then got home to letter from tax credit folks - telling me my application form doesn't agree with their records, so they will assess my application with last year's figures - even though that was when I was full time, and not part time. Tried explaining that I had to estimate figures, but hitting a brick wall. Without an award I cannot see how I can survive.

And for the icing on the cake also had a letter from electric company telling me they want to up my monthly payments from £85 to £220! Not too proud to say if kids had not of been there I would have burst into tears there and then!

Kids are my world. I adore them with every ounce of my being, but feel so alone and feel like I'm struggling to keep from going under.

OP posts:
Frecklesandspecs · 25/09/2015 20:59

Flowers poor you dad. Are you depressed do you think underneath all that crap?
If you might be it could explain why you are having a hard time getting out there. It often seems such a chore,even when you want to.
You are doing a wonderful job and you are putting your kids first.
That in itself is a huge gift.
Is the electric an estimate ? They often get it horribly wrong.

Cherrybakewells1 · 25/09/2015 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagersfonteinLugg · 25/09/2015 22:12

Have you thought about joining a dating/new friends site online? I know some people think they are a bit tacky but you might end up meeting some interesting people and you don't need to go out to meet them as you can get to know them online beforehand.
Gingerbread is good for single parents I have found.
You sound lovely and very caring. Hope things start to look up for you soon.

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