I don't know what to do...

[Tomtom89]

Hey my names Tom and I'm expecting my second child in mid March 2016 only there's a problem, me and the mother decided to have a child together as we were extremely happy and were planning a future together so it just seemed right for both of us. We both have children from previous relationships (I have a 5 year old boy her a 3 year old girl) I obviously don't live with my child but I have him as much as possible and get on with his mother fine where as her daughters father apparently left after his daughter was only 3 weeks old and has since been married someone else and left the country. She was worried about me accepting her daughter at first but I have and I love her like she's my own and would never treat her differently to my son. So once she was pregnant she completely changed and was distant, unaffectionate, irritable and got mad whatever I did whether it was good or bad. She's now 15 weeks pregnant and I haven't seen her for nearly 7 weeks as having me there "stresses her out to much" and she doesn't want her daughter to pick up on her unhappiness etc. we still spoke via text until a few days ago where she basically said that she doesn't want to be with me anymore even though I haven't done anything wrong and am trying to support her in every way possible. She only changed her mind to saying well maybe we can see how I feel after the baby is born once I said I wanted to come get all my stuff from her flat and the money she owed me.
There's a lot more to write down so ask questions or i'lol add stuff in when I have more time but have I been used to get her pregnant? Or does this just happen sometimes and I need to be patient? I'm currently giving her space but I'm in bits as I want a family with her like we planned. Please help??

You said she was an independent woman and you liked that about her.

I feel for you, it's awful when you want a relationship and the other person doesn't. And far worse now she's pregnant.

But just what you say there - it's all, why would a single mum that give you lots of things to not want to be with you?

Well, maybe because she chooses her relationships based on something other than material things?

I'd personally struggle alone any day than be with a man I don't love. If you see your worth to her and others only in terms of what you can spend on them, you won't be happy.

I really think you have to start moving on, sorry

It's just ridiculous that she's waited till she's pregnant to do this, like I was used. Now I can't really move on at least till after the baby is born and even then who is going to get with a guy who has 2 kids one of which is a baby, I'm so angry she has done this to me it's not on at all. I don't think I will be able to trust another woman in my lifetime.

Well, you got together with her when she had a child and she got together with you when you had one. Loads of people do it.
I think it's a bit soon to be thinking about future relationships, but I understand that you're angry and lashing out.
As I say, it's too soon - but next time, take it slowly. There are plenty of people who will date you - but you need to take the time to know each other. Then they'll understand your history and know how it happened - and you'll be more able to build trust with them.
The last thing you need right now is to be bouncing into another relationship.

Ok well I'll update you on how it ends up. Thanks.

Well, you both were happy to have a child. Share the love. You are expecting a baby. At the moment, you have to wait until that child is born to have it to hold.

Sorry - as a single parent I can say that very, very, few women voluntarily go into single motherhood when there's a viable alternative. She may be pregnant but she has as much right to end the relationship as anyone else. I think the idea that women use men as sperm donors hides the fact that sometimes pregnant women just end relationships - which they're allowed to do.

The relationship hasnt actually ended im giving her "space" but I have hope its not over and its just the pregnancy causing this but its still not fair because if she was having doubts about me why want a baby with me? Thats why I feel used.