Husband started working nights.... How will it be? Any advice?

[Bellyrub1980]

My husband has started working nights. He did a few years on nights before meeting me and coped fine (as a single man). However, we now have a 10 mo baby and I'm just trying to work out in my head how it will be. He's pleased with the move but I'm secretly dreading it, I'll miss him so much :(

Do any of you have partners working nights? How do you cope?

My DH works nights, we both did when we met anyway so I've never really known our relationship to be anything other than night shifts. I can see why you'd be apprehensive though. However, upsides include watching absolutely anything you want on TV. My Dsis comes to stay at the minute with me because I like the company. But you will get used to it.

Only thing I would really recommend through is setting him a time to get up, we agree that if he gets in and to bed between 2-3am I wake him up at 12pm, 3-4am I wake him up at 1pm. Any later to bed and Its 2pm. As its important for my DH that he has some of the day and the sunlight as we found we were both a bit zombie like when we were going to sleep at 7am and not getting up till 4pm in the dark at winter. Obvious it will be different with your little one but having a routine, especially with eating meals together and making family time is important.

I worked 10 to 8am.
It's easy to feel quite isolated. It's portent you try and have a meal together. I used to get up for dinner at around 6 and then go back to bed for a few hours afterwards - I need alot of sleep though

Portent? Important

You'll get used to it eventually, but it is a big change at first. My husband used to work days. He went onto nights just two weeks after having our second child, nights pays more, we needed the money! 10pm-6am was his shift pattern, and it was hard at first, I had to do all night feeds on my own - I was breastfeeding my daughter so it wasn't like he could help with that anyway! - the main strain of it, is during the day. Obviously he needed sleep, and I was with our two babies in the morning, until afternoon, after having been awake all night, no fun!! Also being in the house all night on my own really made my anxiety go through the roof, I hated being in on my own, but again, it's something we get used to.

I agree with cocobean, you've got to get him up for some hours of sunlight, we would do the whole sleeping all day thing sometimes, not leaving the house all day, and it really makes you depressed and zombie like. And plus you'll need the help and support, and throwing the baby to him for a few hours! ??

Thank you for the replies

Having never worked nights myself and not really knowing anyone who has, I just can't get my head around how anyone could actually be happy doing it. But he tells me it will be fine.

I guess, to me, it feels like we'll be living opposite lives. I'll be winding down to go to bed, while he'll be getting ready to go to work. One of my absolute favourite things in the world is putting our baby to bed and then snuggling up with him on the sofa. Sometimes when our baby is being particularly difficult it's the only thought that gets me through the day!!! But I suppose I'll just have to get used to doing that alone and, like you say, I get to watch what I like!! Yay!! (ie reality mind numbing television!!)

One of the things I worry about is me and our baby keeping him awake in the mornings. She's teething and pretty 'screamy' at the moment!! She also gets terribly car sick so I often feel a bit trapped in the house if it's raining.

Sorry, I'm just rambling now!!!!

Selina, I've got PND (mainly anxiety) and LOADS better now, but definitely couldn't have coped with being on my own when my anxiety was bad, so hats off to you for coping with that.

Will definitely make sure he gets up for some sunlight. He's pretty keen that we go running together, so maybe that's something we could do.

Oh and come and join us over in the night owls thread if you ever get lonely bellyrub we are a super friendly bunch! I struggle something chronic with anxiety too and it's been wonderful to have people to chat to in the evenings.

Ok lovely, thank you x