Please tell me this man is no good

[mummylila]

I'm quickly losing my dignity and I need a slap please!

Been whatsapping a man every day since January who I met on tinder, built up quite a good emotional relationship but only seen him three times in those 8 months a) because he's married to his job and b) because he quite frankly can't be arsed.

I know he's definitely not married or anything he's just never been that into me but still text all day every day

He's the only man I've had feelings for after splitting with my little girls dad over three years ago. I wanted love quite badly and I've sort of made him become this emotional comfort to me.

I know it's a bad relationship and he'll never love me etc so i told him a couple of months ago that I wasn't gonna speak to him anymore and he was pissed off with me but we carried on as normal somehow, I said it again to him on Saturday night because I'm sick of feeling not worth his time, I didn't hear anything back so went to whatsapp him today and his pic has gone so I think he's deleted my number, I messaged him anyway which says delivered and not read and also sent a text which is delivered not read

This has floored me a bit and I can't believe how I feel about it all when I know the relationship would never work anyway, I've not been able to eat I keep bursting into tears and I'm lay here wide awake and I've just messaged him again. He's not reading them so I'm not sure if he's blocked me or if he's just completely ignoring me

I just about have my dignity left so I need to stop messaging him right now!

Please can you give me a slap so Ivan come back and read it all tomorrow when I want to text him

You had a 'relationship' with your imagination not a real person. You ended the virtual friendship on Saturday and he's accepted it.

Seeding someone three times in eight months because he can't be bothered isn't a relationship. What makes you think you were his only contact?

Move on, concentrate on your daughter and real life friends.

What penfold said . This " relationship " is all in your head .

I think your dignity upped and left some time ago! Come on woman - see sense! You have just got used to text exchanges with him. And a few days without you will get used to that as well. He is not that in to you. Save your energy and time for somebody who wants to spend time with you.

Set your bar way higher!

It's not a relationship, you've created something that doesn't exist.

Only you are doing this and making yourself feel crap.

All this texting activity became a substitute for real life. You need to ditch all that and find out a bit more about yourself, your interests, your ambitions. Then you'll be ready for a relationship that has its roots in reality. In the meantime, your little girl loves you. Good luck and be kind to yourself

I wanted love quite badly and I've sort of made him become this emotional comfort to me.

You've identified your problem in a nutshell; you are emotionally needy because you are desperate to be loved. Why is that?

Out of curiousity, how do you know he "definitely not married" or in a relationship with another woman? Have you checked him out on the electoral roll or searched for his name in the registers of marrriages for the past x years?

Thanks all I know what you're saying is right I just need someone else to say it, going to delete all his numbers now

It's just a shock as ice been through quite a lot and think of myself as quite a strong person so it's alarming when something so stupid can throw me

You need to accept that there never was a relationship. Your desperation made you put up with what was really less than crumbs. Could you do some counselling as a way to work on your self-esteem? Why don't you think you're worth more than that?

Yes, there was no relationship. This was a pretence because you weren't eeady for anything real. You've messed around with your emotions and you just nees to take some time out now.

Yeah, you can't possibly know he definitely isn't married. Not at all.

Remember you'll never find Mr Right when your time and energy is spent entertaining Mr Wrong. You deserve better and more than being his penpal. The fact he's blocked you shows how little he feels to fight or up his game to keep you.

You must realise that you're in control of this situation. You can end it. You're not a passive victim of circumstance. Take control.

You are a strong person . Strong women still do stupid things !

Just learn from it and move on :-)

Thank you all I bloody love mumsnet sometimes

I've deleted every conversation and his phone number

I've been up since 3 just had a good loud cry after dropping my little one at school, scary how fragile I feel

Gonna go round to a mates for a cup of tea when my washing has finished she can give me some therapy

Great advice here. I would say, get busy and keep yourself busy to try to take your mind off him - do anything to distract yourself (preferably legal ). You will find yourself thinking less and less about him as the days go by.

he's just never been that into me but still text all day every day

I wanted love quite badly and I've sort of made him become this emotional comfort to me

Don't waste your time on someone who can't even be bothered to meet up with you. The reason his picture has vanished from What's app os because he has blocked you. There was no realtionship so save your tears. I think you were desperate to find someone and built a lot of hopes on this man. You were happy with the companionship you had via text but you know thats not enough.

Wise up, go out with the girls and delete his number. You will be over him very quickly