10 years age gap between us (him older) so I've often put our issues down to the age gap but now I'm starting to wonder if it's more than that?
in the beginning of our relationship he went behind my back on dating and casual sex sites and a) carried on looking for a 'relationship' declaring himself as single (despite the fact that we'd had the exclusive talk, been together almost a year and he had met my kids and we were planning a holiday) and b) attempted to hook up with 18 year old girls for sex.
He did this 3 times - each time he watched me cry and break down, he managed to talk me around every time but 3 times!!! he has never shown any remorse - only anger if ever I bring it up.
Since then he has flown into mad rages over ridiculous things. Things that in a normal relationship would be solved with a quick apology, a quick discussion or even a quick "give over, give us a hug!" - there is none of that with him. If he chooses to fly off on one, he will do it big style and there is no discussion or making up. Certainly no apology or physical affection. And the rages cannot be predicted. It can be something as simple as laughing at a misshapen burger he was cooking (yes, this actually happened) to asking him how his son is when noticing they're chatting on facebook. There are of course rages that make absolutely NO sense whatsoever and I can't even describe them here they are so confusing and surreal - these start over absolutely NOTHING and there is no reasoning once it kicks off.
I cannot voice concerns or annoyances - not even in the calmest of manners because if I do - he takes it as a personal attack and will fly off the handle. Example being I'd reminded him a million times about something we needed from shop. He came back without it. I said "I did remind you, now there is nothing in to cook with." He reacted with "DON'T FUCKING GO ON ABOUT IT! FOR FUCKS SAKE ALL I EVER GET IS GRIEF OF YOU, JUST FUCKING LEAVE IT!" If I'd have forgotten said item I would have been expected to take the flak once I got back.
Sarcasm. Oh my god the sarcasm. It's constant. At his worse moments he'll mimic my voice and body and put on a dramatic display which supposedly depicts me. The head shaking - if I do something he disproves of he shakes his head and sighs like a father to a young girl.
Nothing is ever good enough. He'll tell me he wants X, Y and Z. I deliver X, Y and Z and he'll decide he now wants A, B and C.
Don't get me wrong, we have our good times but his rages and moaning and head shaking is starting to get a bit much. His ex wife divorced him for emotional abuse. Am I dealing with a Narc here?