I need some good advice please

[harpie]

Hi ive just joined here and i need some good advice. I have 3 children and live out in the sticks. My husband of 11 years lately has been telling me how bad i look and and really changing ive got the point where we argue more than we talk. Ive been put on anti-depressants and losing weight like i dont know what.
I m not happy but dont know what to do if i leave it means me and the kids will behomeless, but if i stay it will be the same result as he said ifkeep the house hell finish his job so he carnt pay for the house.
Ive got no family around as they all live far away and not many freinds(the way he likes it)
and have no where to turn to for help.
any advice will be greatly appreiciated.
i orriginally wante dto wait til after xmas but dont know if i can last that long

Hello harpie, you're not alone any more now.

I'm sorry your husband is giving you such a hard time. He sounds very insecure to me, the things he is saying sound like desperate attempts to control and keep you. This situation is miserable for you.

Can he be persuaded to go to Relate with you? Is there still any love between you? Even if you subsequently break up, Relate will help you feel you've explored everything first. On the other hand, they might help both of you find more positive patterns of behaviour and have a relationship that's good for both of you in the future.

Even if you don't fancy going to relate, you owe it to your kids to give it a try.

would counselling be an option?

you should ocntact your local council and findout if they could house you if you became homeless due to break up of marriage or emotional abuse, and find out what options you have, they might a a website most councils do and some numbers to call.

Hi You are not alone. I have suffered depression and it is a very lonely place indeed. You are looking to your husband for support and really he is not giving it to you. Stay on the AD they will help - although they may make you feel a bit flat. You need to find some joy in your life for you at the moment, and this is the hardest thing. Try and focus on something small each day that makes you feel good and not on the big picture of doom and gloom. You may not be able to make good decisions at the moment anyway. Your husband probably feels pretty hopeless for not being able to help you throuhg this and so is not feeling too good about himself either - and this may be coming out in anger.
You are not alone you will get through each day one at a time but it will not be easy.
Keep posting how you feel it may help.
Be strong for your children as i am sure you are a good mum - it takes a lot of courage to share your problems.