How long to wait before starting dating again

[porridgeforbreakfast]

Hello everyone.
My long marriage has recently ended after a long time of unhappiness and drifting apart. We've tried to make it work but it hasn't and he ended up having an affair.
How long should I wait before thinking about dating again? My first thoughts are why wait and to just get out there, sign up for OLD and start having some fun.
I'd be really interested to hear what others have done.

I cracked straight on really quickly, within about a month. But everyone is different, you should do it when you feel ready.

Personally I would wait a bit, get your head together and get used to your new situation for a while. If you are contemplating online dating, it is not for the faint hearted. There is always a danger when you have been hurt and starved of affection that you will jump feet first into a relationship with the first man that shows you attention.

I think if you're ready go for it. You don't have to get into a relationship. Just date a few people, see what's out there! "Play the field" as my grandma would say!

I joined a dating websites after a couple of months but realised I wasn't ready and have just rejoined after a year. I think I needed time to come to terms with everything that had happened to be really ready to move on.

I was ready after a year - I wanted to make sure my DS was ok 1st and at that point I felt he was.

I met a lovely man OD and we've been together 6 months.

I did it really quickly after my 25 year marriage ended ( husband's affair). I wasn't looking for a serious relationship but I felt the need to convince myself that there were nice, decent men out there when I was ready ( er...I realise that could have backfired horribly , judging by stories on here!).
I met some really nice men, 2 of whom I still see as friends. I'm also dating someone I met.
You are the only person who can judge. I have had a few snide comments about 'the sort of women who needs to have a man'. I'm independent in every way and certainly don't need a man for anything. Some things are just nicer with two.
My young adult sons are more than happy for me to have a boyfriend. I think it's because then they feel they won't have to look after me!

Everyone is different and there's a lot of luck involved as to when you meet the right person anyway.

Personally - and this is very much personal opinion - I think it pays to leave a good long time during which you not only grieve the loss of your old relationship, but you learn about your own part in it, your own personality, what you really want from a relationship and generally hone your twat radar. IME those who wait longer and go through this process of self-awareness and re-discovery seem to have far more success and happiness in their next relationship.

All that said, a lot of women go through this process before they even leave their X as that's part of them plucking up the courage to leave.

There isn't a right or wrong.

Thanks everyone.
It's good to hear peoples' experience and opinion.
I'm not ready yet but I think it won't be long before I start going out again. As Colour said some things are just nicer with two.