When is it the right time?

[Frizzyliz]

Not sure where to post this really so please let me know if I should move it........
So a bit of background. A few months ago I found out my husband had become quite close to one of his female friends. He was rather flirty and it appears that even though she is married she would have liked to take it further. It didn't go any further but had my husband have been drunk she probably would have made a move on him (I'd like to think he'd have turned her down)
Anyway it only came out after a series of events not because he just came out with it so I felt a bit betrayed and lied to.
Things have been going well since and I actually feel we are closer, more supportive and more honest than before. He also has a new job which started a few weeks back. It's his first permanent job since starting his profession 5 years ago. Since he got it we've been able to do some work to the house as we finally felt financially secure. And we also talked about having another child once everything had settled (dd is 2 at xmas)
Well last week he was pulled in by his boss and told that his refs hadn't come through good and he has been moved to probation for a month and will be on a quarterly contract for a year (at which point he will then have to reapply for his role which will also be advertised externally, so it's now a temp 12 month role)
He is obviously distraught and frustrated as he had regular reviews at his last job and they were all highly positive so it's all come as a surprise.
It has also thrown out life into disarray. We were hoping to think about another child but is it not really irresponsible to do so until he has a permanent job (we wouldn't know this until next June/July time) I don't think either of us want to wait until then but i can't help worrying that it's the 'right' thing to do.
When we had dd, literally as soon as we found out, he was told his job was going so he was out of work for 4 months before she arrived. We coped but I don't want us to go through that again. Plus I don't know how his mental health will be if he has to go through unemployment again. Will he be able to cope with impending parenthood again too.
My parents, i am sure, would be very supportive if we needed financial help as they offered last time, but last time we were already expecting before we found out about his job, this time that's not the case.
I am hopeful that they realise his ref was a lie and so he'll keep his job when he reapplies and interviews for it but it feels like life has been a b*#@h to us the past few years so I am always cautious.

Is it ever the right time to have a second child? Should we be waiting? Who knows what could have happened in 10 months, he could get his role as a permanent job but my work could change and I could end up unemployed..... I wonder if u am overthrowing and you can never be sure that when the baby arrives life will be in a good place.

Your husband should ask his current employer for a copy of the reference from his previous employer as a data subject access request. He can then use it to challenge what was said and ask the previous employer to amend or retract it on the basis that it is a malicious or negligent misstatement. But how certain are you that the reference is malicious? It sounds like your husband has not been entirely honest with you in other circumstances. Maybe hold off ttc at least while he resolves this reference issue and put more water between ttc and the brush with the woman at work.

He's already requested the references and has contacted his union with regards to sorting the issue. It possible that his last job didn't feel he did well but they definitely never told him and always positively reviewed his work, so even if they are honest refs it means they lied to him during working there so the shock is real.
I suspect that there is falsness to the refs as the things they have said he was poor in are the bits that are always his strengths.
I doubt that he will be able to do much to change our current circumstances but it's about if we wait until he gets something permanent (which could be next year or in years if this one doesn't work out)
We plan to wait until everything had settled in our relationship anyway so it will be at least a month or 2 (prob more) before we started but it's hard to decide when would be right.

Hope you are right OP but it's hard to see what motive the previous employer could have for giving false bad references (to the extent that you describe it as a "lie") to someone they apparently always thought highly of but had to lay off. They will have to retract the references if your husband can show they conflict with all his previous review feedback.

Has your husband any idea why they might have done something like this to him?

I know his previous workplace has gone into a bit of a meltdown. A large number of staff left including his direct boss and so it has been people further up the chain providing references. Dh isn't even sure these people know who he is.
I am not sure if dh will fight too hard as the effort may be too much if there is a low chance of things changing so he might just aim to prove himself and get the job on a permanent basis next year but should we be waiting for a second child until he has something permanent. We always planned to ttc a second this year as for I finished my 6 month probation in a new job but as soon as that was over this happened. If we try and wait until the 'right' time will we forever be waiting as something will always crop up?