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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

head tells me to run....

33 replies

OurMiracle1106 · 19/09/2015 18:27

But my heart won't listen. I know he's bad news .I know he's only going to break my heart. Isn't he? I know he has a past .I know all of that. But then why is it I can't pull myself away. we talk daily. I see him as often as I can. I feel safe and protected with him. But he isn't mine .And I'm not his .I want him so bad .

I'm gonna have to deattach aren't i?

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 20/09/2015 16:40

...Give yourself the credit for this, your stronger than you thought!...

You're right, Hissy. Well done for today's distancing, Our. Now you just have to keep it going by cutting off entirely.

Hissy · 20/09/2015 20:25

Grr... Phone... You're indeed!

OTheHugeManatee · 20/09/2015 20:28

Possessive is code for abusive

This.

Run.

Caprinihahahaha · 20/09/2015 20:30

Could you try and consider that you are talking about your 'heart' to romanticise coping out?

Our 'heart' doesn't tell us to do anything. Life isn't like that.
'My heart is letting me fall for him' actually just means 'fuck me, I'm picking an utter who will fuck up my life so how can I excuse that to myself. How can I make that romantic and helpless rather than just letting myself make another poor choice?'

Caprinihahahaha · 20/09/2015 20:33

And by coping out I mean settling for so much less than you deserve.

Chose a partner because of what he does that helps and supports you, not by the nonsense we tell ourselves when we want to settle for less.

Original poster

OurMiracle1106 · 22/09/2015 16:28

Thing is my acknowledging I need to run and separating myself from him I'm not making that choice am I? I'm just acknowledgeding that it's ok for me to hurt about the choice I know I need to make

OP posts:

WombOfOnesOwn · 22/09/2015 18:24

My best friend from childhood got into a relationship like this. She liked the giddy excitement of doing something she "knew she shouldn't."

When she broke up with him, he murdered her, shot her dead on her front steps in front of their five-year-old little boyit took her nearly half an hour to bleed to death there, in front of the childthen led the police on a merry chase through town.

AcrossthePond55 · 22/09/2015 18:28

But acknowledging is a step in the right direction. It's sort of like that first time off the high dive. You're poised at the edge, you know you need to jump and it'll be OK when you do, but still you teeter there. But eventually, you hold your breath, plug your nose, and leap. You'll get there. I'd say you're more than 1/2 way even now!

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