Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Parners Snoring is making me depressed I cant take anymore

39 replies

EliseJamesMay · 18/09/2015 14:02

Ive been with my partner for 5 and a half years and he has snored the whole time. We have a 4 year old daughter and have slept in seperate rooms since she was born. He still keeps me awake from the other room and im so tired all the time and I feel really down and depressed at the thought of the rest of my life being like this. It even wakes up my daughter. He has tried the sprays, strips, ring, oral device and nothing works. Ive tried ear plugs and can still hear him over them. Even the neighbours hear him. He went to the GP and the hospital gave him this thing to wear over night to measure his snoring but he was awake most of the night so it didnt exactly give an accurate reading of what its like every night. The doctor he saw said its his tongue slipping back and blocking his airway which is why the devices, strips etc dont work. Ive asked him to go back to the doctor but he refuses, he says my hearing must be oversensitive or im exaggerating how little sleep im getting. I was signed off work with depression and ended up losing my job but I really want to be working but then im thinking how can I work after less than 2 hours sleep a night. Im thinking of making him move out as the relationship isnt what it used to be anyway but this snoring problem is a major factor, id do anything just for it to stop so I could sleep at night. Any advice?

OP posts:
NannyMcfanny · 18/09/2015 19:22

Hi,
my partner snores and it's loud. I have never been able to sleep with him because I'm a light sleeper.
Now we have DS 2 we have no spare room so he sleeps on the sofa. I feel terrible so I'm saving for a sofa bed to go in the dining room.
I also worry that the kids will be affected by seeing their dad sleeping on the sofa and not with Mummy.
I wear earplugs anyway and I've found the best are LaserLite or MaxLite, you can get them on ebay and they are very soft too.
It's awful and I sympathise.

Alfieisnoisy · 18/09/2015 19:35

He sounds like he has sleep apnoea. I have this too.

He needs to ask for a referral to the sleep clinic.

I now sleep with a full face mask and feel so much better. The mask took some adjusting to but once I'd done that it was fine. It's now second nature to me to put the mask on before I sleep. I no longer snore.

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 19:37

Nanny
I also worry that the kids will be affected by seeing their dad sleeping on the sofa and not with Mummy.
It will not bother them as all so long as they know you love each other.

It can cause amusement at school though when they tell a teacher about going to wake up Mummy and then going upstairs to wake up daddy Grin

I played the teacher a recording of my snoring and she understood.

Booboostwo · 18/09/2015 19:40

My DP was exactly the same. His snoring was so loud I could hear him in the spare room. He has sleep apnea which had become severe by the time it was diagnosed but luckily it has not affected his health. The machine is wonderful, it has stopped the snoring completely and makes almost no noise itself.

MrsSadness · 18/09/2015 20:48

My DH snores like an old walrus and I totally feel your pain OP.
I have these amazing earplugs I wear every night called Pluggerz that I get from Boots.
HOWEVER I think I might have found something that is working BUT tonight will only be night 3 of tying it out. This might sound a bit crazy but bear with me.
I was looking at candles for my bedroom and read that 100% pure beeswax candles actually cleaned the air (them emit negative ions or something) and were good for allergy sufferers and asthmatics etc.
So I bought one and three nights ago I lit it in my bedroom for a couple of hours before bed. Thought nothing much of it but that night DH fell asleep as usual and I braced myself for his horrendous snoring and NOTHING HAPPENED!! He didn't snore at all (well apart from a tiny bit of mild snoring but that stopped)
The next day I wondered if it might be the beeswax and googled it and found that there had been some reported cases of them helping snoring.
Tried again last night and the same thing!!
DH always snores, stupidly loudly and it wakes me up and stresses me out. But not the past two nights.
I am currently sat here with the candle burning so will update you tomorrow (if you're interested) if he snores tonight.
I know this might not be the solution especially if your DH snores because of his tongue slipping down but if it works for my DH then it must be worth a try?

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 21:29

Interesting : most scientific explanation is that the beeswax is releasing a volatile that is changing his nasal mucous membrane pattern

I use Olbas oil soaked into a tissue tucked into my pillowcase for the same thing

suzannecaravan · 18/09/2015 21:47

wonder if using a neti pot before bed would help the OP's partner?

although from what she's said I'm not sure he'd be amenable to making the effort

Haffdonga · 18/09/2015 22:06

My dh is a snorer too weight related and you have my heartfelt sympathies. There's something about the irregularity of snoring that makes it unbearable to sleep beside. I'm afraid I have no answer except trying to limit the amount you can hear. (Ear plugs and closed doors etc)

The other thing that strikes me though is you say you have depression. Insomnia and disturbed sleep is a classic symptom of depression. You may be in a bit of a vicious circle - snoring stops you sleep, sleeplessness makes you depressed, depression causes sleeplessness. The snoring may only be part of the problem. Are you getting support and treatment for yourself?

MrsSadness · 19/09/2015 22:15

Update:

I promised I would update on my DH's snoring for anyone who cares Grin

Last night I burned the candle for several hours before bed and..............NO SNORING!!
Hopefully this isn't some hugely freakish coincidence and I can live snore free. It will cost me a fortune in candles though...

Ta1kinPeace · 19/09/2015 22:30

mrssadness
as the house snorer : do you have a link for those candles ?

MrsSadness · 19/09/2015 22:55

Ta1kin They are just 100% pure beeswax candles. I bought this one from Amazon but I've ordered some more from a different site.
Ordered some from here:
Here but they haven't come yet so I can't vouch for those but no reason they won't do the same thing.
From what I read, the beeswax when burning emits negative ions which clean the air and eliminate positive ions (from dust and allergens). They are meant to be good for hay fever and asthma sufferers. We are having work done on our house at the moment and there is dust everywhere so I thought they might be good for helping with that but actually it never occurred to me that they would help with snoring.

Found this

suzannecaravan · 19/09/2015 23:48

if all else fails a large candle will serve as a cosh
(j/k)

molyholy · 20/09/2015 00:14

I live with a snorer and as a pp said before, unless I drink wine at the weekend we don't share a bed. The embarrassment when my dd went to school one day and told the other mums on a day we had something exciting planned 'I ran into my mums room, then I ran into my dads room' Blush Blush I brushed it under the carpetbut she must have told her husband and that was about a year ago but I still feel Blush when I think about it. I know its not the same but is also suffer with mysophonia and have done since my teenage years but a bloody good pair of ear plug (I find silicone ones the best) and going to bed earlier does help a bit. I really feel for you op Flowers

Ta1kinPeace · 20/09/2015 18:07

molyholy
Statistically, nearly 1/3 of married couples regularly sleep apart.
When I was having to (before I had my nose rebuilt) I asked gym friends and its true.
Do not be ashamed of wanting a good nights sleep
your kids care that you are happy and love each other
the fact that they can snuggle up with you seperately will not bother them in the slightest
nor should it their teachers
or your friends

FWIW the landed classes always found it very common that one actually slept with ones spouse, rather than each having your own room
.... read Jane Austen's books and you'll see what I mean

New posts on this thread. Refresh page