Needy men, online dating

[Nevergoingtolearn]

I have been online dating on and off for a few months, have met a few men ( things haven't worked out ) and tbh I haven't really enjoyed the whole ever enact, I removed my self fro the dating sites last week but continued talking to one guy as we were getting one really well. I asked him a few days ago if he had told me everything about himself ( important things that I might need to know before getting into any kind of relationship with him ), he told me quite a lot about his past but things I really didn't need to know, I just wanted to know things that may effect him now, not what he got up too when he was 18. We were getting on really well, I was ok with what he had done in the past but then things changed, he started acting really needy, messaging me every 5 minutes and messaging me when he had been drinking ( something that really anoys me as I'm not a big drinker, he seems to drink most nights ). I'm not good with the whole 'needy man' thing, I have just got out of a long marriage with someone who was very needy ( had a lot of emotional problems ) so this has scared me off somewhat.

It's not just this guy but it seems to be every guy I have met, are all men needy? Is it just a online dating thing?

I'm not a needy person myself, I'm quite independent and wouldn't want to rely on another person so support me emotionally and physically, I have 2 dc's who are needy enough, I don't need a extra one.

So is it a male thing? Is there any chance of finding someone who isn't needy and doesn't have emotional or mental health problems online? Maybe I just attract these people?

I'm close to giving up on men altogether

One minute he chats about normal things and then he turns all soppy, full on and needy. When we are chatting normally we get on really well, we share a lot of interests and views but I just can't handle all the soppy stuff and the full on stuff.

I have chatted to quite a few men through OLD, most either seem really full on or the total opposites where I can't even have a conversation with them, there seems to be no in between [grr].

As a previous poster said, it's a lottery. Did OLD for six months last year, met some nice guys but nobody I'd go out of my way for. Plenty of odd messages, blowing hot and cold, scary full on romance very early on.

Re-downloaded Tinder as a distraction in August (yes, I know), swiped right for anyone vaguely interesting, using no-beer-no-kids-no-weddings-no-fish-no-cars-no-topless as a filter.

The first person I met, we stayed until the pub closed. So far, he's great. Funny, gorgeous, appears to find me the best thing ever. No kids, wants kids, like me. Solvent, likes and respects women. Is kind and careful with my various issues stemming from a previous abusive relationship.

Equally, he could have been the biggest wanker to walk the earth. It's luck, and the law of averages.

Don't put up with anything you don't think is great. If you think they're slightly wanky now, when they snore or leave towels on the floor, or don't stack the dishwasher before they go to bed you might want to kill them.