Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

any chance

15 replies

youngman23 · 14/09/2015 22:11

Hello guys, i made a thread the other day about me being needy, well today it came to blows and me and my partner split up

She told me that she still loves me and that we are great together, but she said at the moment it doesnt really feel right, its are first rough patch

Ive had a couple of texts from her today about how hard this is for her, should i justvleave her alone and let her make her own mind up, i havent text her back which really good for me at the moment

OP posts:

goddessofsmallthings · 15/09/2015 00:50

What exactly do you mean by "it came to blows"? Was actual violence involved?

In any event, you are best advised to refrain from entering into any communication with her and wait to see whether she instigates a meeting at which time you can express your feelings face to face.

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 06:47

No i didnt mean violence, im not a violent person i ment we argued!

OP posts:

SomeonesRealName · 15/09/2015 07:05

It's selfish of her to call things off and then text you soliciting ego kibbles - she can't have it both ways, regardless of where the fault lies in the break up. Why do you say you are needy?

goddessofsmallthings · 15/09/2015 07:08

I'm relieved to learn that there were no fisticuffs involved in your argument.

The saying has it that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and I suggest you absent yourself sufficiently for her to decide whether she's grown fonder of you, or is content without you.

When those we love are undecided as to whether they love us in return it's far better to set them free and wait to see if they return of their own volition than beg and plead with them to stay, only to have them leave another day.

Toffeelatteplease · 15/09/2015 07:10

What do you want?

Cabrinha · 15/09/2015 08:42

I would text her and tell her that it isn't fair to you to dump you and then send you messages like that, and to stop.

Don't bother being with someone whose response to a tough patch is to dump you, not work through it together.

Are you needy? If so, take this relationship free time to explore that and work on it. But be warned - nothing triggers needy like being jerked around on a string!

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 08:42

I really wan5 to be with her, she split up with so i thought i would just give her the space, i woke up this morning to a text she sent me at 1am just asking if i was awake, but some of the text she has sent me give me such mixed feelings about what she wants

OP posts:

springydaffs · 15/09/2015 09:16

Sounds like she's mucking you about. Be firm, she can't pick you up and drop you when she feels like it.

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 12:44

We met up about 2 hours ago and had a really long talk, we both agreed that things havent been right the last couple of weeks and we had been trying to force it, we both agreed that we need to give each other space and let time heal things.

We both have feelings for each other and love each other dearly and think its best we just give each other space

My attitude on this is it will either work itsself out or it wont but need to give each other time, its gonna be really hard not to ralk to her but it needs to be done

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 15/09/2015 14:37

Glad you have a good proper face to face talk.
Definitely give each other some space.
You can revisit if you both feel the same at some point in the future but for now move on.

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 14:53

Its really hard because i really thought we was gonna start a family together :( last year she wanted to try for a kid but i just wasnt ready, but i am now i feel like its lost :(

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 15/09/2015 15:51

You can be ready with another partner when the time is right.
How old are you both?

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 16:25

Im 23 and she is 22, im still hopeful are relationship will sort itself out, like i said we have both said we are great together and going through a rough patch, just needs time

OP posts:

mylovelylife · 15/09/2015 16:48

You are both so young and I'm glad you didn't go ahead with a baby. The chances are that you would have still separated but with a child that you would not see all the time.

I really think your 20's are about discovering your adult self so this is likely to be a woman you love but trust that you will love another woman.When you meet your life partner it's not dramatic and it just feels right but you don't know that until you experience other relationships.

Original poster

youngman23 · 15/09/2015 17:01

Its just hard thats all up untill about 6 weeks ago we was buying a house together, we was within weeks of moving in, but we both realised we was too young for it, its just hard thats all, ive tryed so hard to force it to work since that i have just pushed her away, like i said she told me it doesnt feel right at the moment thats why i think we need time apart and see if it feels right

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread