My ExH got married on Sunday ...

[MagicalHamSandwich]

... and I feel utterly shite!

For the record: it was me who LTB'd for various, very MN approved reasons. I don't love him anymore and I sure as hell don't want him back!

Still here I am feeling utterly miserable, lonely and useless not having been on a single date since I kicked his sorry arse out. I'm a reasonably conventionally attractive, professionally successful woman in my early thirties and I spent 30 minutes today locked in a toilet cubicle at my office sobbing my eyes out.

WTF is wrong with me!?

I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all. I think it's natural to feel like that, even if you don't love them anymore. Plus when he was such a twat and he looks like he's happy and moving on, it can sting because he prob doesn't deserve it and you feel worthless cos he was a twat but looks like everything is amazing. But it won't be, I promise. Anyone can look amazing from the outside. Look how many stories we read on here and people get married even when they aren't in loves young dream!

So for now realise how great you are and how sorry to feel for this other woman how she's landed a twatchops! He won't have changed that quick. Concentrate on building a life for you xxxx what do you like? Do you want a new look? A new hobbie? Go abroad x make it happen xxx

Nothings wrong with you. You're just wondering how an arsehole has found someone when you haven't yet. It's bringing up all insecurities and worries. I've been there, it's shit and completely wrong that something like that can knock us for six.

But it does knock for six. You need to focus on the good things, you are attractive and professional, I'm sure you are a lovely person and you are well rid from him. If anything, feel sorry for her, if he hasn't changed at best they are divorced at worst she's stuck with a shit.

Thanks both - you're obviously right: this does bring up lots of insecurities. I just feel so small and unattractive and not worthy of love in the face of this. It doesn't help that his new wife is 27 and has boobs the size of water melons (whereas I am skinny and not precisely gifted in the breasts department).

There are just lots of little things that really grind. Like that he's talking about sending her back to uni and that he'll pay for her masters. I fucking paid for your degree and my own two, you pathetic loser! How about you pay me some of that back first?!

And then there's the fact that we're expats and he plans on bringing her over here. The bastard actually had the cheek to ask whether I'd take wife #2 on my girls' nights out or to my yoga class until she meets more people!

In my head I reply 'like hell I'll take her to yoga - fuck you both downward facing doggy style!'. Real me just politely declines and remarks that this might make both her and me feel rather awkward. Which I guess makes me a pathetic loser, too. I'm basically the role model of doormats everywhere. No wonder I'm alone!

Oi! Stop that! It's not you who is the loser here

Fwiw I kicked out horrifically abusive ex and I was also very wobbly on his wedding day. She of the giant arse could have him with bells on as far as I was concerned... but when I married him I expected it to be forever. It hurt that it wasn't. Plus he got to sail off into the sunset with new wifey while I was still single when he should have been hung, drawn and quartered. By rights. If there was justice in the world.

Fear not, it all ended very stickily for him. It doesn't always but in this case it did. What a pour cow to be married to him, melon bazookas aren't going to save her eh.

As for playing happy families - what a turd. You have to laugh, he's full of such shit.

Onwards and upwards, you are gorgeous, don't forget that

Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
And Saturday no luck at all

Take heart as it seems that those who marry on Sunday don't have much of a future together.

He'll grow moobs, her watermelons will head south, and you'll go from strength to strength now you are well and truly shot of the unprincipled twat.

Well he deserved the comeuppance, springydaffs!

I very much doubt ex arse ever will, TBH. As he says about himself: 'apparently, I'm charming!' And he is, so long as he's not being his selfish, demanding, verbally abusive self.

Love my co-workers, though: my three utterly professional, extra-polite MC guys who offered to kick his arse for making me cry are worth their weight in gold! Should have married a guy like that instead!

Charm is deceptive as the good book says..

Certainly was in his case. He SO got his comeuppance

I'm telling you, the story isn't over yet. You really don't know what's ahead.

Go coworkers

MagicalHamSandwich Sounds like he's bad for your health, in the way that his comments and presence are upsetting. At best he's insensitive, at worst deliberately cruel.

You are definitely well rid and better off!

Mine refused to let me have more than two children. Left me, divorced, re-married and had three more children.

I'm so sorry Varya, but you are better off without him than having another child.

For you OP

I kicked mine out (long ago) and he married again, twice. He had more children. He was a shit to mine. Then when I heard he was dying I was upset for weeks. There's no accounting for how people feel, OP. Keep breathing, things will get better.

Well I for one would rather be you having divorced the fool than the poor soul that's just married him! Onwards and upwards!

Well, my Ex stated he will never get married. It's important for me and my family so I refused to be involved with him. He found someone and got married. How to understand that I don't know...