Nc for this as not about me, but have been lurking for years.
Really not sure how to deal with this and in need of some advice. Friend, have known her for about 15 years, consider her to be relatively close, she has been through a lot and I've always been there as one of her main supports. About 10 years ago her dh had an affair, she reacted very badly - understandable - and essentially had a breakdown. She decided however that she wanted to stay with him and work it out. He acted like a complete and utter twunt and I was unsure about this but supported her in her decision and got behind her. Over following years her dh has changed completely, done everything she asked, down to changing jobs, ditching friends, never goes out - he has turned it all around (grown up) and is completely focused on her and their now three dc.
Now, she has decided that it is all over. I don't think she ever really forgave him and never forgot about it, it's all a bit of a mess and I feel so sorry for the dc. My dilemma is this - she was always adamant that the main and biggest problem was the fact that he lied about the affair, the affair itself was secondary, although he never considered the impact on herself or their, at the time, one dc. She now tells me that she is 'involved' with someone else. I can't quite get over how stunned I am by this - she's doing exactly the same damn thing, but apparently it's ok now. I'm really not sure how to respond to this. I want to stick my head in sand and tell her it has nothing to do with me (and I know that it really, really doesn't), but she has some significant ongoing MH issues and in addition to looking to me for support, she will pursue me, constantly for a response, a reaction, something - and I don't know what to say. She has now informed dh it's over, he was totally stunned and her family are disgusted with her. They don't know about the other man though. I want to tell her to park him and deal with her family first, but know I risk alienating her if I do so and for all the crap, I still worry about her ability to cope on her own.
Any words of wisdom - this is such a potential huge mess not helped by fact we all work for same company so I can't avoid them. Any of them.