I'm sorry if this is long and rambly, my head feels like a washig machine at the moment! My partner and I have had a rocky few months. We went on holiday in June and everything was good. We had previously had doubts, as we have a large age gap (21 years, im 29 he is 50) but felt we were getting past these and on holiday talked about moving in together, we've been together 2 years. He has always had a bit of a tendency to depression/low mood and a week after getting back from holiday he went downhill and pushed me away, said I was better off without him etc. He also said that he didn't feel like he wanted children anymore due to how low he felt and that it wouldn't be fair. we didn't talk for a few days and he went back to his, then I reached out and we worked things out. He was okay for a few weeks then started feeling low again, and went to the doctors and got put on citalopram. He's been on them nearly 3 weeks, since on the meds he's been feeling up and down, thoughts are all over the place and that the idea of any responsibility scares him and he didn??t know if he was ever going to feel differently again especially as he is also getting older. This panicked me as I've always wanted a family with him, and to settle down/be committed to someone and I started saying maybe we shouldn't be together if we don't want the same things anymore, and he saw no option of changing his mind. Last weekend things were ok between us, Sunday night we were talking and I can't even remember what I said but it was something about how I'm unhappy with the current situation and he said he'd pack his bags and leave Tuesday morning (we don't live together but he's at mine all weekend and one weeknight). At the time I agreed but a couple of hours later we went to bed and I said are you sure it's really over and he said "yes, I can??t keep going round in circles like this because of you, is it any wonder im fucking mental?" I was shocked at that comment as it sounded so nasty. He was at mine the next evening as he was looking after my 10 year old after school as I had work, we slept in the same bed which was so odd knowing we were parting the next day, and Tuesday morning I left for work and he packed his stuff and left. I got two texts saying sorry, that "it was all his/the ilness's fault that our relationship failed" etc. I haven't heard from his since Tuesday night. He's gone back to his house and he lives there with his grown up son and his partner. It doesn??t feel "final" enough for it to be over but my friends and family are telling me it is. I don??t know whether to reach out to him and try sending a text asking how he is, or anything. I now feel guilty for putting pressure on him to make commitments when he was in no place mentally to do so. if I had just kept quiet for a few months he may have got better and changed his mind, or at least be in the right mindset to do so. I miss him ridiculously so. I don??t know whether to just leave him and assume it??s all over, delete his number and all social media ties now, leave it a few more days or what... I feel like it's his depression that's been talking and not him. Do I try and reconcile or walk away?