My adult DS is very shy and worries he won't meet anyone

[bridie69]

Post says it all really. Only found out recently he is 27 and has been working abroad for several years. He never talks about anyone in his life, never brings anyone home (when he visits) just works all the time it seems. Recently became aware this is due to profound shyness and lack of confidence. I wouldn't know where to start raising this. He has always been shy but thought this would fade when he moved away. He has a good job, he's handsome and kind but he thinks nobody would be interested in him. It makes me sad and I dont know what to do.

Well, you say 'became aware' -- did he tell you this? Because it's only him who can change himself to achieve something he wants. You can't do anything. And are you sure he actually wants a girlfriend/boyfriend? Some people genuinely aren't interested, but feel they are supposed to want it.

No I found out via a family member. I know only he can change it, I suppose I am surprised more than anything. I thought he would have had lots of relationships by now.

It is difficult, I know a few guys my age late 30's who never met anyone even though they are great guys just too shy and then once they get over a certain age it gets harder really because they don't have any experiance of being in a relationship. I also knew guys your sons age who are also alone and they just went for it on online dating and just worked really hard at finding someone going on dates with anyone, giving them all a chance and trying to make things work. All those guys are pretty happily married now. If your son wants a partner then I would recommend that. It is a good age as women his age will be getting fed up the bad boys and will want someone more reliable to settle down with.

From the little I hear he did OLD but didn't have any success. I am surprised more than anything. Most of his friends have paired off and I know he feels alone going to weddings by himself and so on.

Going to weddings on your own isn't so bad. It's a chance to meet people, for one (even if mot romantically). Unless he approaches you about it and asks for help, I would not meddle. When you're shy and not dating anyone, people going "why don't you have a partner? You're such a lovely person, you need to get yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend" really isn't helpful.

It's hard to meet people these days so I don't have many suggestions, but it sounds like you are driving this panic more than him. He's only 27.