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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Cheating hints

23 replies

LoveLetters · 10/09/2015 19:54

For the last two nights I've dreamt that my partner has been flirting at work with a girl that I know used to have a crush on him.
Last time I had dreams like this it was true. Now I'm wondering if I should start snooping to find out? Making me very suspicious. He is also being rude to me a lot recently and saying I'm annoying him. For instance, we were driving to take kids to school and he got in the wrong lane to go to his work. I corrected him and he told me not to and he found my voice really annoying. What???

OP posts:

Dadof2wo · 10/09/2015 19:57

Gut instinct is more often than not proven right in my own experience.
Id have a look at his phone.

BeverlyGoldberg · 10/09/2015 20:01

Go with your gut. Get snooping.

AnyFucker · 10/09/2015 20:03

really ?

get snooping because you had a dream and he was a bit snappy one day

I know I am not very tolerant of shitty male behaviour but you sound a bit OTT

AnyFucker · 10/09/2015 20:03

really ?

get snooping because you had a dream and he was a bit snappy one day

I know I am not very tolerant of shitty male behaviour but you sound a bit OTT

Original poster

LoveLetters · 10/09/2015 20:17

Your profile name is quite unbelievable.

To the others, I think his work sms is a better shot. I'm sure he's not stupid enough to text on his own phone. He is working from home tomorrow so I will have to take my opportunity when he has a loo break.

OP posts:

SlowlyGoingINSAINIA · 10/09/2015 20:21

Is it only the dream and his snappiness that's arousing your suspicions? Has he done it before?

I think you would be unreasonable to snoop on him if he hasn't done anything before.

goddessofsmallthings · 10/09/2015 20:22

I've had experience of prescient dreams but, putting yours to one side, the fact that He is also being rude to me a lot recently and saying I'm annoying him is cause for concerns that can only be alleviated, or confirmed, by snooping.

Get to it, honey, and let us know what you find.

Original poster

LoveLetters · 10/09/2015 20:25

Yes he had an emotional affair with a girl at work before which ended up in them kissing. This was years ago and she has since left company. However, I am again in similar situation. Pregnant, we aren't having sex, he is moody and I'm having weird dreams out of nowhere. I wasn't even thinking about it until the dream last night and his behaviour today.

OP posts:

LeonC · 10/09/2015 21:05

Anyfucker has the best name....ever

(She's my girl crush)

VikingVolva · 10/09/2015 21:09

How old are these girls? Because the age of consent, if for example he is a teacher working with girls, is 18 not 16 (which not everyone realises). And it's pretty grim when an adult is chasing juveniles, even if the girls have reached the age of consent.

That said, your dreams are just that. Dreams.

So why do you think you're giving them credence?

ToGoBoldly · 10/09/2015 21:13

I'd be furious if my partner snooped on me on the basis of some dream and the fact that I got irritated by them once while I was trying to concentrate on driving.

ToGoBoldly · 10/09/2015 21:15

Actually I note you only used that as an example. If my partner was being rude to me on a regular basis, I'd ask them what the fuck they were playing at, not start snooping and thinking they were cheating. If they continued to be rude, they wouldn't be my partner for much longer, so the cheating is neither here nor there.

AnyFucker · 10/09/2015 21:31

You'd better believe it, baby

Hopefulnewbie · 10/09/2015 21:43

Having strange dreams is pretty normal when pregnant due to extra hormones- believe me, Mine are getting so bizarre that me and DP now laugh at them, most recent was that he ran off with my mum cos her Sunday roast was better than mine (let's hope that doesn't come true.)
I don't think you should act on a dream but his attitude towards you doesn't sound great. I think your best asking him what his problem is, if your caught snooping- there's no going back from there

Morganly · 10/09/2015 21:45

It's difficult to judge on what you've said so far really. Believing that your dream is a premonition or revelation or something is nonsense. However, sometimes we dream about things because they are bothering us. So were there any other signs that you are picking up on? Is his behaviour to you now similar to how it was the previous time he was messing about with another woman? Did the last time coincide with you being pregnant?

Whether you snoop or not, whether he is cheating or not, you do need to pull him up on the disrespectful behaviour. You are pregnant. He should be kind and caring towards you right now.

beaucoupdemojo · 10/09/2015 22:04

I think that sometimes our dreams reveal what we know subconsciously to be true.

He is acting like a dick, which is often a sign that something is going on. Men who cheat are often snappy because they want to make their bad behaviour somehow theor partner's fault. Otherwise they would have to admit that they are, in fact, morally defunct shits, rather than the hard done by innocent party!

I say snoop.

janaus · 10/09/2015 23:21

Go with your gut instinct.

Funinthesun15 · 10/09/2015 23:23

I know I am not very tolerant of shitty male behaviour but you sound a bit OTT

What she said

Shutthatdoor · 10/09/2015 23:24

I'd be furious if my partner snooped on me on the basis of some dream and the fact that I got irritated by them once while I was trying to concentrate on driving.

Me too

cozietoesie · 10/09/2015 23:30

Many years ago, I turned up to a 'dinner party' which didn't exist. I later established that I'd dreamed the invite. That was a fun evening.

The whole business revealed more about me than the people around me I think.

ToGoBoldly · 10/09/2015 23:57

cozie

Eekaman · 11/09/2015 00:08

My goodness me....

For me, the big news here is that I'm in complete agreement with anyfucker... I'm pretty sure this is a first for me.

The thing is OP, it really does sound like she's telling it dead right. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

HelenaDove · 11/09/2015 00:46

OP i had a dream that i was at it with Robbie Coltrane. Im not though.

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