Weird online dating behavior....

[bayswaterbaby]

Just back in the dating game after a very long term relationship and have twice been caught out by weirdos.

The first one was very nice for a 4 month relationship, very persistent, keen to spend time together, arranged great dates, consistently called and made an effort, made it clear he was after something serious then out of absolutely nowhere told me (by text :() he wasn't over his ex and wasn't ready for a relationship and I basically never heard from him again. He seemed like a nice guy....so I took this to mean he'd gone off me and was just a bit of a coward to tell me?

But hurtfull...but ok.

The second one has me feeling really mystified.

He seemed completely into me for about three months, dead keen, introduced me to his friends, made it clear we were an item on Facebook and wanted to "take it slow", so we didn't hve sex. He was a bill full on but he just kept saying he felt he'd not met anyone as great as me before (who doesn't want to hear that) so I went along with it as he seemed great and gave me butterflies.

Then he started behaving weirdly. Not calling or texting for a few days. Avoiding seeing me but at the same time not letting me go. Getting angry at me if I called him out on it. Silent treatment. Telling me lies that seemed to serve no purpose other than to confuse me. 50% of the time being amazing and 50% of the time being a total dick.

I dumped him after about 3 weeks of that. I expected never to hear from him again.

Then he showed up at my house asking me for one more chance...he'd been hurt in the past...his feelings for me scared him...(yes I know, vomit) and I fell for it as he seemed so sincere.

Never heard from him again after that night!

Have noticed now that he has multiple profiles on POF in diferrent locations. One in Germany, one in England, one in Australia. If anyone has any insight into why anyone would do all of this please let me know! It's so odd!

So anyway, the best part of my first year "back in the game" of dating has been a bit of a disaster.

Is there something I can do to screen people that I am maybe not doing, or is this just down to really bad luck?

There are a lot of strange people out there on OD, but also plenty of nice ones!

Have you seen the dating thread on here? Let me dig up the link.

Here you go

I can also really recommend reading The Gift of Fear. It's about that "gut instinct" that we often feel about someone but frequently ignore. The author talks about cases where someone is really dangerous but the red flags displayed are very common with people who are "just" emotionally abusive, too.

Thank you for the reply and having a look through the thread too. I must say I am just expecting people to be normal or behave within the parameters of what I am used to and both these men have left me feeling a bit confused!

Avoiding seeing you but not letting you go - I had one of those. Turned out he was reconciling with an ex but keeping me on the just in case pile.

Anyone who seems overly keen to start with has always turned out to be a dick.

It's a bit beyond weird that he has mutiple dting profiles pretendin he lives in diferrent places though!!! He was very much abouttexting / calling / Facetime but was often way or busy. Almost like he just wanted a plethora of online relationships without a real face to face one. Very strange man!