I need a rant

[Esmeismyhero]

I've posted about dh numerous times and last night he actually made me cry.

He is lovely really, thoughtful, kind, great father but he can be thoughtless and selfish.

He has been away for ages with work and a sleep study.

Last night he finally came home and asked if the kids had slept in our room, which they had because they both woke up at 230am and I was so tired.

He then said its my fault because I let them sleep in his bed (we don't share a bed but have two beds in our room at the moment) and that's why they woke up. They woke up because they have started back at school, my daughter has a sleep apnea and because they are kids, kids wake up.

It just felt like a critique of my parenting when in fact he hasn't been here "parenting".

I also found out yesterday that I have to have surgery again because three new polyps have grown in my womb again and I'm in pain and I'm scared as they always test them and I get scared that maybe "this time" I might get bad news.

When he was gone I cleaned the carpets, he didn't notice. He came home and just dump everything everywhere and only put his bags away when I was getting the kids ready for school etc.

He just put some bits away and then had a 45 min shower while I ran around like a headless chicken.

Then he said he wiped the sides in the kitchen last night (the kitchen was clean when I went to bed) and he left the window open so my kitten got out and ran down the road (my sister saw and retrieved him) his excuse was he didn't leave the window open, then he did but not a lot then he said he must of knocked it open when he was scrubbing

He's been home 1 night and I'm more stressed and upset than when he is gone.

Rant over thank you for reading.

He's been home 1 night and I'm more stressed and upset than when he is gone.

I think this is the crux of it. Doesn't sound like he brings much to the table. When will you hear re the sleep study? I remember your other thread

I have no idea, he said the nurses there said it could be a few months becUse of the amount of data collected.

He just got home and is being nice, the kids are up so he is bathing them. I have blood tests tomorrow so I'm drinking lots and resting. After blood work I get so tired.

I hope you slept okay OP and your blood test today went okay.

Then he said he wiped the sides in the kitchen last night (the kitchen was clean when I went to bed) and he left the window open so my kitten got out and ran down the road (my sister saw and retrieved him) his excuse was he didn't leave the window open, then he did but not a lot then he said he must of knocked it open when he was scrubbing

Would it be out of character for him to clean the kitchen? Do you suspect he opened the window on purpose?

Hi, bloods went ok, they think I have DUB as well so gynae isn't going so well

I don't think he would do it on purpose, well hope not anyway.

I remember you.

He is not thoughtful and kind is he though if he can and does make you feel like this. I would also argue that he is not a good father either; women in poor relationships often write such stuff when they can think of nothing positive to write about their man.

What do you get out of this relationship now?. IIRC you have not been married all that long either?.

If you've posted about him a lot then maybe re-read those posts and weigh them up against the 'lovely man' idea? Usually if someone say's something like X is usually this but, everything before the but is bullshit.

Is he lovely as in he's a really nice guy or is he occasionally lovely and you are grasping at those lovely times? Believe me I've done the latter and it's really hard to see and accept but if someone really is lovely, they don't act as you've descried and they don't need defending because they haven't acted so supportive.

He's been home 1 night and I'm more stressed and upset than when he is gone.

How often do you feel this way?