Am I Being Paranoid? What Do I Do?!

[amybeth11]

Me and my fiancee have a lovely relationship, we don't really argue, we're always on the same page, it's really great. But something is bugging me and I need an outsiders opinion.

So the other day he was holding our DS and asked me to do something on his computer, and gave me his password to type in to unlock it. It was an unusual Spanish word (he's part Spanish), I don't speak the language but I knew I recognised that word. I did a bit of searching and realised that the word is the handle of a girl that he talks to a lot on twitter. As I snooped some more I realised that this was a girl he used to be in love with, and they're still friends on Facebook too. They always tweet to each other in Spanish so I don't know what they're saying, and I don't know if they have any private messages, but it bothers me that his password is her twitter name. It makes me wonder if he misses her, or if it's just an old password that he never thought to change, especially since no one is meant to know his password but him.

It's so juvenile and silly, and I am a paranoid person as it is, but should I tell him that it bothers me? Do you think he may still have some feelings for her?

Any suggestions/hints are much appreciated!

xxx

This would really piss me off. Get google translate on the twitter messages. And then ask him outright.

I can never get my head around thoughts like this. You cannot MAKE someone love you, if they don't. No amount of snooping and Google translating is going to change the situation. It is what it is, he is engaged to you and has made a baby with you. I am guessing that he didn't do that with secret password girl or with a gun held to his head. Stop the paranoia, it's deeply unattractive to a partner and never changes anything for the better.

He might have had the passwords for donkeys. One of my old passwords was my teenage boyfriends name because I'd used the website I was on for that long. It didn't mean I still dreamed of him or anything. It meant I was too lazy to change it.

I also use the name of someone who means a lot to me as a password, (I'm not in any relationship though), mainly because I think it would be more difficult for anyone to guess.

However if this continues to bother you I would be going for a translation. At the best you will find the messages innocent, or... Not!

I still use the nickname my husband gave me as a password, and we split up more than 10 years ago. Unless you have cause to doubt him, I wouldn't let this worry you.

Yeap, I agree with everyone except for fairyfeatures here.

How unusual is the word? If it is not her name it might not even been related to her. I think that there is nothing sinister there as if there was, he would have avoided telling you his password. Also if Twitter messages are public I would not worry.

If you would like some translation please do not use Google translator. It is awful! I am a native Spaniard. You can PM with any language related issues and I will try to help ;)

i once used the name of someone I hated as a password, because I am generally very easy going, and in this case, had to steel myself against them, because it would have been wrong to forgive their behaviour, and the password reminded me of that, every day.

I'm not saying this is the case, but love is not the only reason to chose someone's name as your password. Of course sometimes it is the reason. How long has it been his password? It could be 10 years or more? He doesn't seem to have been hiding it from you.

Translate the twitter messages! I wouldn't be able to not do this. Hope it's all innocent, especially as you have a child together. Horrible feeling paranoid isn't it, but do trust your instincts.

Would he be stupid enough to tell you the password if he had something to hide?

I agree with him telling you the password being a good thing but I would want to know what the twitter messages were unless he does talk to you about her and their conversations openly?

A lovely relationship and nothing he normally does that makes you anxious or suspicious until now? I would not be assuming the worst but I don't know whether us telling you to relax is really going to persuade you.