I have asked my husband to leave. I'll try to keep it brief,he has bipolar and has been medicated for this for 1 year. For the last couple of months I have been urging him to see his Dr as I thought he was becoming very edgy and verging on an episode. He refused saying he was fine I needed to stop scrutinising his every move. Relax I'm better now etc. few months ago he tells me he has to go abroad with work for 3 weeks and that this will be in the school summer hols. Not great but ok if he has to go. Found out day before he went that actually it was voluntary to go. So I'm pretty annoyed but don't say anything. 1st week he is away I don't speak to him he phones I don't answer too cross and just needing a break from the merry go round which is living with a bipolar partner. 2nd week we are talking I say sorry about that needed a break he seems to understand. 3rd week he is away he is screaming down the phone that it's all wrong I shouldn't need a break. He doesn't want to come home. Then I get a text saying they want him to stay for longer and as things are so bad between us he is going to. Then I get a message saying he is coming home as we need to sort things out, we need a new direction, things are not good between us. So he comes home. Next day he is working from home I overhear him on the phone saying its a pity we couldn't rearrange the flights as I would have loved to have stayed. More lies! So we have the talk he tells me although he still loves me we are destroying each other and he doesn't know what can be done to fix this. So he is going to have to have a serious think about whether to leave me. I'm devastated it's a bolt from the blue. So I go away and I think about all this. Think to myself am I really the kind of woman who is going to sit around and wait for my husband to decide if he wants to be with me? No I'm not Come home say to him I love him I will try anything to mend this I don't want to lose him. But I cannot live with the emotional turmoil of waiting for him to decide if he wants to be married to me.He says suppose we could try counselling but my heart just wouldn't be in it. So I say in that case I think we should call it a day. He says hope we can be friends and off he goes this is tues eve. Wed am I get a text saying do I mind if he works at home on fri as he needs to see gp and his counsellor as he has stopped taking his medication. I think about it say fine but assume he will come up fri am or book a hotel for Thursday eve. (He has a flat in London as this is where his job is based) he says no why should I? I can just sleep in the spare room after all we are going to remain friends. I tell him no it's too soon I can't even think about him or look at a photo of him without breaking down. His being in the house would be too distressful for me. I mean is it normal to think you can stop being in an amazing 18 year relationship and go to being in the same house as friends within 48 hours? I'm getting lots of messages today which are either nasty or telling me he is perfectly well however he thinks I am mentally ill and need to see a Dr. How I need to see sense and we just need to blag it in front of the children as one of them has exams this year. He doesn't have bipolar he was just depressed. I can't do it. I've spoken to his counsellor today to give her the heads up. I was half expecting her to,say he didn't even have an appointment but apparently he does. His stopping the medication has always been non negotiable so can't really see a way back assuming this is an episode and not my real husband speaking. He has physically abused me during manias. The DC and me are on the police at risk register and they have to respond under blue lights if I call them because of things he has said and done in the past. He says he doesn't really remember what he has done when he comes out of them. But if I can't blag it and I really don't think I can how do I tell the DC they are older teenagers. Do I tell them the whole truth about his illness and all. They are going to be devastated. Despite everything he has done (and there is plenty more) I still utterly adore him and will for the rest of my life. I can't imagine how I am going to get through life without him by my side because I thought this was forever.