How do I find the strength to carry on?

[AgeingDiscoDancer]

I posted a couple of days ago with an urgent cry for advice to which lovely MNers gave me loads of encouragement.
Now another.
Found out H is having an affair on Saturday. It's a long story that ultimately has resulted in the end of our marriage.

Just how on earth do I find strength to carry on? I have 2 grown-up DCs and just a couple of close friends as I have moved round the country supporting H in is career.

I have been offered a new job but have I got the strength to do that as well as find a new home, carve up 25 years of accumulated stuff, learn to be on my own? Is it possible?
If I hand in my notice to my current employer I will only have 4 weeks to try to pull myself together. Is that long enough? I know it will be good to start afresh but at the moment it feels like I am standing at the bottom of Mount Everest knowing I have somehow got to get to the top.

Sorry for such a rambling note. I feel very confused and really don't know where to turn.

If you want to leave work you can. I'd recommend calling in to your employer and taking sick or compassionate leave (depending). Giving you time to get plans underway.
No matter what you change, every step is nearer the goal.
You can completely do it. Get a friend in on the situation to keep you on track and provide support.

I missed the new job bit (was that the interview on the same day?) In which case (either way) well fucking done on the offer.

And yes. You can do it in 4 weeks, a small rental can be done bloody fast. (My friend was on that like lightning when she left her husband, I was in awe).

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was in the same position exactly 8 months ago today so I can empathise with how you feel. I was offered a demanding new job the week before my husband left. It has been the saving of me. It did wonders for my self-esteem and gave me something new and exciting to focus on. It made me see that there was a bright future even though it wasn't the one I had imagined for myself. It's terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure.
How do you find the strength? It's a cliche but you take each day at a time. Don't think about everything that has to be done - worry about what you have to do in the here and now. Focus on today, this week, next week, your new job. Try not to think too far ahead.
I had moments (I still do) of wanting to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. It can feel completely over-whelming. You're still in the very early stages and experiencing shock. Be kind to yourself. Ask for all the help you need. I reached out to friends, family, and strangers on Mumsnet. They were all there for me and pulled me up when I thought I would drown. As time goes by the panic lessens. In the past few months I have had many lows but also many highs and can honestly say I feel optimistic about my future. It still terrifies me at times though.
I'm sorry that this too is rather rambling but I'm at work and wanted to reply quickly.

I agree that a little time off to get your head together could help.

Congratulations on the new job, in 4 weeks time you could be feeling quite differently, and the new challenge will keep your mind from dwelling on things at home.

As for finding the strength, you will. It'll be hard to begin with, and you'll need to lean on your closest friends (don't feel bad about only having a few; a few fabulous friends will move mountains that a million acquaintances couldn't) and be gentle to yourself; force yourself to eat regular meals, go for walks/swimming sessions at least 3/4 times a week to just 'be' and focus on things you'd like to learn or change or do. Focus solely on yourself, not on his utter idiocy.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and encouragement. It's so sad that so many of you have been through this too.

Waving - I suppose I don't actually have to look for new home just yet. Trouble is it's quite a big house and I feel like I am rattling around. Memories everywhere. You know what it's like.
Sighing - thank you!

I've taken all of this week off so far because every time I try and talk, tears come too. I work in healthcare so dealing with other peoples problems is just too much at the moment. Haven't decided what to do about tomorrow - depends if I manage to get any sleep.

Current boss is being great and said I can take as much time as I need. The flip side to that though is she will be writing a reference for the new job and I don't want a poor sick record (If I take tomorrow off it will be 3 days in the last 6 months). GP yesterday gave me a sick note up till week on Monday but I know I don't want that long.

I already do a dance class once a week and have started yoga too which last night was absolutely brilliant. Dreading lonely nights/weekends. This weekend will my first on my own. DS who has been staying home for last few weeks is going away with his friends. He really needs to have time away and recover from this mess too.
It really is completely shit.