Is husband cheating?

[janaus]

My Gut instint tells me my husband is cheating.
I noticed on his phone bill, 2 times FaceTime has been used. He knows absolutely nothing about using internet, facetime, etc. So I was very surprised.
I decided to look back at this number, and I see phone calls to this number at 5.30 in the morning, then times during the day, sometimes 4 times a day, and of an evening before I get home. And on weekends, times he is not home. These calls started last December, and this July, calls and text messages were flat out. There have been over 50 phone calls during this time to this number, plus SMS, and sending photo I think,
Ok, yes, to try to save my marriage, I am checking his phone.
I saw this number was listed to someone called Lyn. Dumbass also had an address to this contact. Just around the corner from home.

After questioning him about all these phone calls and texts, the name Lyn has been deleted, but I now found that a contact called Wally has this number.
I have given him the opportunity to tell me if it is a genuine reason to be calling this person. I told him if I find out anything, I will destroy him, and tell our adult children. I am playing it cool at the moment, he might slip up again. I am checking the phone records each day. Nothing since Aug, but still the damage has been done and lack of trust . Of course, I have rang the number and a lady answers each time, so its definitely not "Wally".

Just a though Janus - as you have foiled him by checking his calls and texts, he might have switched to something like skype or WhatsApp. Neither of them register on phone bills as they are Apps and are free.

Sorry you are going through this

So sorry you are going through this op, even though you have phone records it isn't actual proof is it??

Can't offer any advice, I'm in the same boat as you, I suspect but have nothing to go on, it's like your life is on hold just waiting for something to happen. All I can say is bide your time. The one thing I have learnt is anything you suspect keep it to yourself as if you accuse/question it just makes them be more careful x

It sounds like he's cheating although not definite it seems probable. And if you're spying on his phone then the trust and communication between you has clearly broken down so I don't think the marriage can work.

Let me ask you something, even if he admitted to this affair and promised there would be no more would you be able to trust him again? If you'd always be second guessing everything he said and had to keep spying on his phone then there's not much of a marriage to save anyway.

That's exactly how I found out about my ExH affair.
The phone use.
Told him I knew all about it and knew when it started and why did he deny it the last time I challenged him when he was having an affair.
He wanted to know how I knew so I told him. Phone records.
Of course he had to admit it.
Phone records are plenty of proof to challenge.
He may never admit it, but you KNOW!
So now it's up to you what you want to do about it.
Some people can get over it.
Some people try again but it's never the same.
Some people reconcile and things actually improve
I could never forget so in essence, knew I would never fully forgive.
I actually didn't want him if he wanted to be with someone else. I wanted us to both be happy and not have him be with me because the though 'he should'

Why are you fucking about like a child!
When he comes home tonight, confront him with the evidence and have it out once and for all!
You can then both decide like adults what you want to do about the situation.
Stop arsing around and just address the problem!

Just remembered that Social Internet has started showing up on his phone bills last few months too. He is truly useless when it comes to internet. So it suggests someone has taught him to use some things. But I can't find any apps that it might be.

I don't really understand why you need to do anymore investigating.

dh, who does this phone number belong to that was listed in your phone as Lyn then changed to Wally? Shall we phone it together? Or should we just go around to XX address and see who lives there?

Agree the thing to decide is if you want to remain married to him if he is having an affair, if not start making your long term plans. Don't tell him everytime you find something if you want evidence for a divorce, he knows you know now and will change behaviour. Just go to the address, and see who lives there when you think he's there

If he's with someone tech savvy, they'll know about find my phone and leave it where he is supposed to be

If you're at this point of checking then your relationship is over. What good would further evidence do?

No more snooping.. Confront him once and for all and go to the house if you have too. It's time to shit or get off the pot before you drive yourself mad!

sounds like he's cheating. that makes you second place to the woman he's shagging.
sorry.
i'd have his bags packed. there would be no going back from this for me.

Why don't you go to her house and ask her ? Or have a friend do it ?

When you confronted him about Lyn what did he say?
There's also nothing stopping him having a secret phone that you know nothing about.

In this scenario-
1 - You carry on stressing and checking his phone, movements - this suspicion ends your marriage (or at least affects your health).
2 - He admits to cheating, this admission ends your marriage.
3 - He admits a plausible reason and all is fine.

Best to ask him and then say you'd like to go visit Wally together for a drink and see his response. Or suggest that you're going to visit Wally alone as you have the address anyway.

There may not be any more phone records.

As you are onto him he could now switch to using an ap such as Whatsap, Viber or FB messenger to communicate with OW via text or call and these won't show up on phone bill.

I'm sorry OP, it doesn't sound good. But do you need him to admit it? If you are certain or if you can get enough proof to be certain, then its time to take whatever action you feel is right when confronted with this situation. He can deny it all he likes, that should have no sway with you if you know for sure.

Is there any part of you still questioning it?

has he explained who Lyn is? I would make him ring Wally's number in front of you on speaker phone

Find my iPhone notifies the user it's been tracked.

If I were you I would drop it. Not mention it and tell him how silly I was being and I know he wouldn't cheat on me.

While still checking up on him. After a while he will go back to doing what he was doing before and then you can catch him.

Or I would go knock on her door.

Although, part of me thinks I couldn't be bothered with that and would tell him it was over. It's obvious that he is cheating and doesn't even respect you enough to be truthful and thinks you are stupid enough to believe him without any good explanations. That would piss me off as much as him shagging someone else.

You OK OP?

Thank you for asking. I am OK, but just taking my time to think things over.