Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

"bad boys"

12 replies

ethicalsusan · 09/09/2015 21:08

I really cringe when someone says they go for bad boys.

In my experience it just means guys that are good enough looking to get away with treating people like shit.

Or do I have it all wrong? I think good looking people can get away with so much.

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 09/09/2015 21:10

People can be good looking and nice.
But yeah, surely no one really wants a bad boy.

LovesPeace · 09/09/2015 21:11

'Bad boy' = arsehole.

Can't see the attraction myself, unless they are good looking and you want to use them for sex.

hollieberrie · 09/09/2015 21:22

I always used to fall for the "bad boys" in my 20s. Now I'm in my 30s I've stopped myself as I know no good will come of being involved with that type of guy, but I honestly struggle to be attracted to nice, normal men. I think it maybe some kind of childhood issue but I dont know what it is and how to change. Sigh. Til I can sort it out it'll just be me and my dog!

Pinksparkles383 · 09/09/2015 21:50

Yep, that's me too. I always go for the bad boys, always. I think my problem is thinking I don't deserve or won't get any bettter. I think I'm so desperate to be loved that I'll settle for anything and probably don't believe I will find any better.

BolshierAyraStark · 09/09/2015 22:07

Certain 'bad boys' have a sort of charisma about them that allows them to get away with the behaviour they demonstrate-more so if it's mixed with very good looks.
But yes, good looks do often go with decent men too, I have one of those.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/09/2015 22:08

Good looking doesn't = badly behaved.

I have never seen the appeal of 'bad boys', but then the older I get the more I realise I am part of a tiny minority of people lucky enough not have had a fucked up childhood (I used to think everyone was like me, now I realise how lucky I am).

I'm not going to deny I find good looks attractive, but scratching beneath the surface, I find sense of humour (the ability to make me laugh), well read, able and willing to hold a conversation, and kindness the most attractive features in men. Bad boys leave me cold.

EponasWildDaughter · 09/09/2015 22:13

I think some women find a good looking man with that streak about them is attractive. I'm guilty of it.

It attracted me to DH in fact. Happily it turned out to be all show and when i got to know him i found out he was a keeper

thehypocritesoaf · 09/09/2015 22:13

I agree, I never found twats appealing. if I hear someone say they like 'bad boys' I think, oh dear...

EponasWildDaughter · 09/09/2015 22:14

arrogant streak

RainbowFlutterby · 09/09/2015 22:16

DP was a "bad boy" (think numerous convictions) but never ever treated a woman badly!

ShebaShimmyShake · 09/09/2015 22:22

A good thing about having had a vile abusive father is that it put me right off 'bad boys'. I hate them, they repulse me, I feel contempt for them and I don't consider them men.

I like dominant men but a truly dominant man is able to control himself (because he knows he can't control anything else otherwise) and understands the concept of power exchange. Swaggering, violent minded twats can fuck right off.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 09/09/2015 22:32

I've never been attracted to 'bad boys'. Never seen the attraction tbh

Flip