What does "Exclusive" mean to you?

[OneBreathAfterAnother]

I've just had an interesting conversation with a friend about this.

She's "seeing" someone and while they go on dates and are having sex, they aren't in a relationship yet. She asked him earlier if they were exclusive - he responded to say yes, he thought they already were, and he wasn't having sex with anyone else.

She's talked to him since and it seems he thinks this only applies to sex - IE neither of them have sex with anyone else. He thought flirting was fine. He made an odd comment about did she want him to stop talking to all women on the way out of the door, but did apologise; and he was late for work when she was talking to him (although she wasn't going to get another opportunity anytime soon).

She definitely has feelings for him, and last week he said that he had some feelings too, but he wanted to take it slow and let things progress naturally.

What do you think?

I think it's up to each person to define what they mean.

But for me personally, the word "exclusive" means that I am someone's girlfriend and they are my boyfriend.
They should have sex with no-one else, and no longer actively seek romantic or sexual opportunities - no online dating, no flirting. If asked, they should say "no I'm not single, I have a girlfriend - Cabrinha".

They can talk platonically to as many women as they like!

Oh and I think that it's perfectly possible to take things slowly and progress naturally and still focus exclusively on one person. In your friends case, if he still wants to window shop after several dates and sex, I'd raise her standards and walk away. Generally, I think if it's going to work, you feel excited enough not to be interested in anyone else. And if you're more of a slow burn type, it's not the end of the world to put other options on hold for a few months. I don't expect a guy to fall in love first date, but I expect him to be bothered enough not to have contact with others once we're sleeping together and dating. End of.

Exclusive to me means no kissing or sleeping with someone else.

But a bit of flirting is fine as long as it isn't going anywhere

People vary in their definitions - there is no 'right' definition, but it's fairly important to talk about it rather than making assumptions.
Is your friend a bit of a whinyarse and overly possessive, or is the bloke the sort that makes constant comments about how attractive other women are when he's out with her?

Exclusivity is a subject that a couple discusses and agrees on before they have sex. Otherwise you end up in this position - invested, insecure, with a cocky-sounding bloke.

Your friend is making a hash of this. Ringing him to initiate an exclusivity chat when he's on his way to work?! It's all so needy and intense.

What ever happened to going out on dates and getting to know someone in a happy, relaxed, non-sexual way before deciding in a sweet, romantic conversation to be "boyfriend and girlfriend", and THEN enjoying nights of hot monkey sex?

This relationship isn't going to work out. She's a needy mess and he already sounds arrogant and disinterested. Tell her to cut her losses and move on.

It means whatever you have agreed it to mean: not dating anyone else; not sleeping with anyone else; not going onto online dating sites.... Whatever you both decide.

But not stopping talking to anyone of the opposite sex