Thank you everyone for your replies regarding the man who was into porn, couldn't climax without his hand and I felt like a used sex object. All your comments make sense and I really didnt see it coming to what he said to me when I confronted him.
I feel now I have done the right thing, but I was so upset last night and in shock by his last comment that I was starting to doubt myself sexually.
I asked him to come round, and we sat there whilst I was saying I felt he didnt respect me, told him that I asked him a few weeks back that quality was better than quantity and not go all night, as he was taking well over an hour as well we have an issue with him climaxing. He then told me that the way I am use to having sex is different from the way he does so we will both have to adapt to which I was left shocked.
I have never had this issue before nor was I thinking I have been use to sex which is wrong, he tells me that the girls he has been with in the past have been use to wanting sex for a long time before he climaxes (really I think!) and that when we discussed latex, or anything similar, he said it made him feel disgusted (again its my fault) but then my argument was that why did he wank every night before he met me to latex, porn and women gagging...so really it disgusted him. I noticed he was telling me what I wanted to hear and it was my fault to make out that whatever he told me about his past or what he enjoyed, weirdly he forgot and that he hated it and it disgusted him then in the end he says well I am open minded...(so make up your mind instead of lying and forgetting or blaming!).
His wanking and him telling me that he needed to pull out all the time before, was because his ex wanted to get pregnant so this programmed his brain not to want to go inside someone, as he didnt want children.. but then says its because women wanted him to take long. So I just don't get his stories or to what is the honest truth here either.
He then says he still wants to see me, that he didnt want it to be this way, I remember many weeks ago he said he didnt want to ruin anything, but clearly this issue comes up time and time again and he said he is sick of me leaving him and won't have it again. (not my fault I feel cheap and bored!).
So just as I am saying to him that we may not be matched physically and have different sex drives or interests he says to me "well in actual fact its the way you touch me that I don't like, I like to be touched in a way that makes me feel aroused!"
Only for me to get angry with him and say, "are you serious, you asked me to bite you, to do this and to touch you there!" who is the real person and I remember your mum saying you were complex this is on another level here.
When asking him if sex was ever good with his exes, he said no, I said really, thats interesting I never hear you saying things were good then says well yeah it was at the beginning....but his one night stand with a nurse was the best last year as she did everything for him - interesting I thought. He said he likes to be dominated and to feel vulnerable with someone yet explains that porn made disgusted and because I had a high sex drive, felt he needed to keep up with him and it wasn't him really, that he was pretending to be someone else around me in bed to make out he was up to my level??? really...so even though I suggest once a night as quality is better he still keeps on going...for him to say "Im a hot blooded male, what do you expect?!" so no respect for me then.....or not willing to listen its all about his sexual needs.
The last part when he mentioned to me that I didnt touch him right was the last call for me...even if he wanted to continue going out with me I said there is no way I could sleep with you now I have lost respect for you and feel you don't have any respect for women too. He leaves and says good luck with finding this so called perfect family man you are after. I said to him you too, I know you are gutted but we are not matched in any way I need honesty and someone who makes me feel secure and you don't.
I receive a text saying sorry it ended this way and he didnt intend for it to be like this and wished me the best of luck.
I feel unattractive, not good in bed and apparently what I am use to is not right and that I need to adapt as well to a new way of sex with him as well as him changing too.....sorry who has this experience in the first month of dating, I have never???
I am relieved but also upset however glad it happened now as he wanted to buy commitment rings at Christmas time for us both and move in together next year. He said sometimes you have to take risks in relationships and maybe you need to take a risk with me, I said you are a risk, I take risks with work, but not in relationships as I don't want to jeopardise my self esteem and confidence to suit your needs thank you.
So as you can see its been quite an ordeal this week - shattered lol x