DS is 7wks old and my first child. Bit of background. My sister is a single mum to two children close in age. Mum has been involved a LOT. Sister living withbthem on and off, mum doing childcare (sis doesn't work) bailing out financially, see each other daily. Mum at both births.
I am married, work full time and much less involved, always have been. Mum moaned to sister that she wasn't 'involved' in my pregnancy (??!) and was worried about being 'left out' once baby was born.
DM likes everything to revolve around her and the family home. She is unbelievably disorganized. Several times in her visits to me and DS she has left the kitchen in a real mess having brought lunch for me - to help. She is late, says she'l be here at a certain time then text with a massive reason for running late such as internet company coming round, had to go to Drs, phonecall for an hour from someone etcetc.
So, after a few weeks and her getting the hump when i said 'don't worry about coming today then' or if she phoned and wanted to come that day and i was already busy (different. Visitor or appointment somewhere) I suggested a set day. Then we both know what to expect and can plan other stuff accordingly. Saves any disappointment for her and annoyance for me.
Except week 2 of this and she's made other plans for 'our' day. I have a busy week but have kept that day free. And she has made snarky comments to another family member about booking a time slot and being given a day. MIL has not been given a day as she works varied shifts and is capable of organising a visit and not being annoyed if i say no.
Just wondering if giving mother a set day was the wrong thing to do? DHthinks so.