Aibu in wanting to live alone?

[Beachday]

I know it's not aibu but can't quite face that.
I'm better on my own. Everyone annoys me.
I don't want to wait for someone to come in, I don't want to arrange dinner with them.
Sometimes I don't want to eat.
Sometimes I don't want to talk
Sometimes I can't be arsed to put the cups in the dishwasher
Sometimes I want to leave my trousers on the floor

I don't want to go to eat something and it's already been eaten
I don't want to tip all the tomatoes out on the floor because someone opened the packet and I thought it was full- because I knew I hadn't opened it.

I don't want to count how much alcohol you have every night.

I don't want to worry about how much sleep you are not getting.
I don't want to worry about what time you will get home because you have to be up for work early.

I am not your mother.
And you are a grown woman

I'm not sure if I'm just being controlling, or just particular, but this is my house and I should be able to live how I want, yes?

Hope this makes sense, I'm just frustrated.
My sister is kinda living with me, I love her, she's not doing anything wrong, but I just don't want to live with anyone.
My husband died- he wasn't at home much, so I guess I did things my way.

No, you need to talk with your sister.

You need to get her to leave. How can you do that? Is it just the two of you?

You're not unreasonable
But I don't inderstand
Is your sister planning to live with you permanently? You need to talk to her if she is.

Also, why would need to eat together etc? You should be able to do what you normally do, and don't worry what time she gets in, goes to work etc.

Yes I need to talk to her but I'm useless at this stuff.

She's often talked about us living together permanently, I think she'd like it.
She stayed when my husband died, her job/housing situation was flexible.
And she's just accepted a permanent job here.
I'm actually moving soon so that could be the catalyst to talk to her, but there's enough space for her.
I hate the thought of upsetting her.
She's been up and down with depression over the last couple of years.

We don't have to eat together,
I just feel guilty if we've eaten, or if she offers to cook and I'm not hungry.
Or if she suggests going out and I don't fancy it.
I don't want to have to worry about these things, but I am.
I know it's stupid but I do have a bit of anxiety

It doesn't sound stupid at all. I can feel how stifling it is just reading your posts.

I think using the move to distance yourself would be a good idea.

Is there some way you could frame it so that it's beneficial to her?

Could you be separate but close by?

Put it in such a way as you needing to stand on your own two feet.

That you are very grateful for her being there for you after your husbands death, but you feel you need to carve a life out on your own now because you worry that by relying on her so much (!) then you may end up never being able to fend for yourself.

Help her as much as you can to find somewhere to live, see her as much as you can bear and make it clear that you love her and appreciate all she has done but that now you need to stand on your own two feet.

If you put it like that then she will (hopefully) feel that she is helping you by getting a place of her own rather than being pushed out.