What can we do about this horrendous situation?

[Battlingonandonandon]

A female family member is currently living with her DP and his parents. They have very little money so can't afford to rent yet but the situation is unbearable

One of the parents is abusive towards them all and incidents have included: personal items being broken, shouting, taking photos of her, cutting phone wires so she has no access to the landline, changing TV supplier and keeping passwords secret so she cannot use wifi or TV. Taking post, trying to smash the door in when she is in the bathroom and being threatening

Yet when anyone else goes round said person is ultra nice, it is an act though as I've heard recordings that have been made.
I have told her to keep a diary and log it all with the police but she won't....but then says that at some point she thinks she is going to get hurt or killed

I don't know what to do. Surely the police would take this seriously especially as they have recordings ? I think the worry is that once reported it may then escalate if person involved can come back to the property (they own it so it's likely?) I am very concerned what can I do ?

Call 101, ask for the dv unit and tell them the situation as you know it. You can report problems which don't directly involve you.

Your friend is losing confidence and it sounds like she has become 'helpless'. Can you talk to her partner and persuade him to take the initiative in the guise of protecting her? They're his parents, so he's grown up with it, and to him it's some form of normal. He needs to understand how damaging it is to her and then he may take a bit more responsibility for getting her (and thus himself too) out of it.

I find her DP's position in this particularly problematic, I fear.

I can't imagine that a person who was in a truly loving and caring relationship - and without significant baggage of their own - would allow their partner to be abused in this way. It almost sounds as if he is following his mother's lead in the matter and just being grateful that the father's abuse is not directed at him. Ostriching about the whole thing in fact.

What is your perception of their relationship?

You have done all you can by offering your sofa bed. They are choosing to stay in that situation. You need to try and disengage a bit.

I agree with introvert. If they won't help themselves there's nothing you can do.

Can they look on SpareRoom.com and see if there is anyone out there willing to take on a couple. At least then they could get out for the time being until they sort something more permanent.